


When Curiosity Didn't Kill The Cat

by Fork64



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, F/F, Fuck sleep, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Young Love, bc theyre dumb, but I like it that way, how we in the gen z show love, kelleys a meganerd, like me in high school, lol hogwarts, lol theyre all dipshits, so is christen but in a different way, sometimes it works out, theyre doing some dumb shit, treating each other like shit, unrealistic future for high school girlfriends, who cares about health
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2019-11-28 10:36:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 27,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18207248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fork64/pseuds/Fork64
Summary: "Kelley, no.""Kelley, yes.""Kelley, this is a ridiculous idea!""Kelley, thank you so much for enriching our lives and education.""Fuck's sake Kelley, stop trying to kill us.""Alright fine, you big babies. But also, like, no."Kelley wants to do so much in so little time. Learn, love, live, all the "L" words. In fact, her goal is to do all three in her last year at Hogwarts.





	1. Mandrake Leaves

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go again
> 
> Animagus: a witch or wizard who can turn into an animal form at will.
> 
> Step 1.  
> Place a Mandrake Leaf in one's mouth for a whole month, full moon to full moon. In the clear sight of the moons rays on the second occasion, spit leave into a phial with a Death's-head hawk moth chrysalis, a silver teaspoon of dew that has not seen sunlight or touched human feet in seven days, and a hair of the witch or wizard who wishes to become an Animagus.

Kelley O'Hara has always been a curious person. She learned about anything and everything she could(which doesn't mean she enjoyed school by any means), and spent copius amounts of time doing so. In another life, she would have been a scientist, possibly an engineer, or maybe a soccer player because she loved that too. But no, she had to wake up one day to find an owl tapping on her bedroom window with a letter sealed with red wax clasped tightly in it's beak.

It was unreal. Magic? Witches and wizards? She must be hallucinating or something, because she could have sworn the animals in the school logo were moving. But then, the summer after she got her letter, a man showed up at her door and took her to England("Yes ma'am, England. She needs the proper items to attend Hogwarts in the fall." "I'm sorry, there are too many students in the North American schools, so some are being sent abroad." "Please stop cursing at me, I'm just trying to do my job.") to buy her school supplies. A wand, robes, books, stationary, a trunk to put it all in, and(after two days of begging) a black and white cat named Mercury.

Kelley was sold. Magic became her first love, and now instead of dedicating her time to chemistry and the "Muggle" sciences, she studied magic as much as she could before she even began attending Hogwarts. She wanted to learn everything, do everything, experience everything.

Of course, this carried over into her schooling. She was sorted into Ravenclaw just as the Hat barely touched a hair on her head. A bit of an unfortunate moment because she made friends with some of the other Americans on the train who were both sorted into different houses before her. But that didn't matter. Tobin and Alex would still go on to be her best friends.

By the middle of their first year, they had a solid group. Alex brought over Christen, a family friend, and with her came Julie.

Kelley already knew Christen. They were both Ravenclaws and in the same dorm. To be completely honest, she wasn't too thrilled when Alex brought her to sit with them one day. Christen was the kid who sat in the front of the class and gave her life to grades, whereas Kelley would rather sit as far back as she could and learn hexes that went out of style decades ago. Christen also seemed to have been quite peeved when Kelley accidently set the carpet on fire while practicing spells in the common room. So no, she was not too enthusiastic.

But they got along well enough. So the five became close. Some closer than others, but that's okay. Others drifted in and out, but they always stayed, occasionally experiencing some turbulence but never failed to work it out.

It wasn't until second year when Kelley showed up with her first special "project". They were magical fucking human beings, and Kelley thinks they should get as much out of that as they can in their lives. So she found a potion in an old book that can temporarily give them super powers. It took Kelley a month to convince them to do it, and another five and three tries to finally get it right. In retrospect, it was much simpler than it seemed at the time, but they were twelve and clueless. Something that's still up for debate however is whether or not it was worth near expulsion when the school's caretaker woke up in the middle of the night to find Kelley running at impossible speeds and Alex moving large boulders with her mind—and they don't even like to mention Tobin flying around like Peter Pan while _on fire_ at the Quidditch pitch.

But although this first one ended up a little rocky, Kelley felt invigorated. There wasn't enough time in the year to do another, but over the next several they did many more. Some years Kelley would find them four or five smaller projects, and other times she would get them one or two big ones. In their sixth year, she wanted to learn the Patronus charm. It took them a long time as they swayed their attention to and from with the burden of schoolwork, but eventually they were all able to disspell fully formed Patronuses from the tip of their wands. In the tail end of the year, Kelley found an old trunk and they managed to charm the inside so that the bottom lead into a room about the size of a cozy basement, and they furnished it as such, an idea she took from a book about some dude with a weird name. Currently. it was stowed away in Kelley and Christen's dormitory.

It was also around this time when Kelley developed a small(large) crush on one Christen Press. And, in her loud and unique style, is very open and forward about, which is most likely why no one really takes it seriously. It's probably for the best though, since it's very unlikely that Christen will ever like her back. It softened the blow in a way, to be able to laugh it off with her friends. Or maybe it just delays the blow for a later time. But to sum it up in simple terms, she thinks Christen is hot(among other things) and she thinks everyone should know that, including Christen. But more on that later.

Which brings them to the present, their seventh and final year. Christen was Head Girl, and the rest as Quidditch team captains. And with their new, shiny appointments, Kelley was determined to top off their schooling with something big. So at dinner, with a grand gesture of laying down an old textbook she brought from home for this exact purpose, she presented what she wanted to do with their last year.

And was immediately met with a firm, unrelenting, "No."

"Oh come on!" Kelley exclaimed. Christen's face was set to have a staring match with her friend, who had a goading expression on her face. Julie glanced up, read the heading at the top of the page, and snorted. Kelley was going to have a time trying to convince the others to do this. Her and Tobin are usually the ones who are up for Kelley's projects. It's Christen and Alex that are the immoveable object in front of the unstoppable force.

"No. Hell no. Never. Nyet. Nein. Non. Veto. Fuck off," Christen said. Kelley rolled her eyes. "Kelley, you're gonna get us killed doing this."

"You say that every time."

"But this time, it'll actually fucking happen!"

Kelley groaned. She knew that obviously they wouldn't be on board at the very start and that this would probably take considerably more time than usual to get them to agree, but she was ready because this was something she wasn't backing down from.

She sat down at the Gryffindor table they were eating at and steeled herself to have a lengthy debate. Today, Alex was eating with Slytherin to help a second-year with her Potions essays, so she has to strike when Christen was alone and less supported. However, Alex's absense doesn't mean she's any less stubborn. But then again, neither is Kelley.

Tobin strolled up to the table, absentmindedly humming to herself with a little hop to her step. The old book caught her attention and one look at the page made her eyes bulge slightly, and swiftly turned around and tried to go back to the Hufflepuff table with a little more urgency than she came with. "Damn it, Kelley," she mumbled.

Christen reached out and snatched the back of her robes. One disadvantage to the billowy wizards' clothing. "Tobin, tell Kelley she's crossed the line into insanity."

"Tobs, tell Chris how fucking awesome this would be," Kelley retaliated.

Tobin gently shook off Christen's grip and raised her hands up in surrender. "No, no, no, I'm not getting sucked into this. But Kell, you know this is kinda dangerous, right?"

"Yeah, but I've been doing research all summer and I even called a guy to ask about how to avoid getting fucked up in the process. And if we ever have any questions, we could always ask McGonagall. You know, uh, 'hypothetically' of course," she said, putting air-quotes around "hypothetically".

A horde of owls flooded into the Great Hall, delivering mail and newspapers to the students below. A brown barn owl swooped down and dropped a letter neatly next to Kelley's plate before flying away. Kelley glanced down at it and her face contorted to one of gentle despair as she shoved the letter into her robes' pocket.

Christen took note. She's been recieving these letters once or twice a week since school started and she had a pretty good idea of who was sending them, but when she asks Kelley justs brushes it off. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," grunted Kelley. "Where were we? Oh that's right, I was just talking about how easy I've made this process for us." She smirked smugly in an obvious effort to hide her momentary mental crisis.

"That doesn't change the fact that this is ridiculus! What practical purpose does this serve?"

"What practical purpose did any of the stuff we did serve? This is no different."

"No different? Fuck yeah it's different! You're asking us to permanently change our bodies!"

"We're not changing, we're...improving. And I'd like to point out that you didn't have nearly a big problem when we got tattoos last summer!"

"Kelley, _no_."

"Kelley, _yes_." Kelley goaded, smirking.

"Kelley, this is a ridiculous idea!"

"Kelley, thank you so much for enriching our lives and education."

"Fuck's sake Kelley, stop trying to kill us," grumbled Tobin.

Kelley pursed her lips like she was actually considering it, and said, "Alright fine, you big babies. But also, like, no."

Christen rolled her eyes and stabbed at her food in frustration. Based solely off previous experiences, she knew she was going to cave. Kelley O'Hara is very persistent. But that doesn't mean she can't try. Honestly, she's always enjoyed this game of cat and mouse. It got better when she and Kelley got closer. They weren't always(which was weird because they were the only ones in the same house), but in fourth year they got in a bad accident during a Quidditch game and spent two days in the hospital wing together. Two days in very similar agony in beds right next to each other have a way of bringing people together.

"JJ, are you seriously okay with doing this?" Christen said.

Julie shrugged. "I dunno, it's kinda interesting." Julie was a Muggle-born like Kelley. And like her and many others, the concept of magic still jars her sometimes. But instead of deep-diving into it, she became quite entrenched in Quidditch.

"You guys are idiots. All of you." Christen crinkled her nose and frowned. The magic owl tattooed on her skin flew down the length of her arm and perched itself on a nonexistent branch on the back of her hand. Silver and shimmering, the only part in color were it's eyes, which were a bright, almost glowing shade of yellow. It was based off her Patronus, which she conjured for the tattoo artist to his shock. All of their tattoos were based off of their Patronuses, and in the same spot, on their hearts(not that they ever really stay there). Christen calls it Foggy. Tobin and Kelley call it Jaundice.

Foggy cocked its head at her, silently calling her out for refusing to do this even though she was intrigued. Christen scoffed and yanked up the sleeve on her uniform, hiding it from her view.

Kelley smirked. "You know, you're cute when you're angry."

Christen glared at her and jabbed at her mashed potatoes. Kelley chuckled and flipped around the book so that Julie can read through the page. "Becoming Animagi. I gotta hand it to you, that took me off guard."

~~~~~

Kelley showed that same book to Alex after dinner, who had a similar, albeit louder, response. But she'll deal with that later. For now, it was Quidditch time. Kind of.

She and Christen hovered far above the ground. One of the sixth-year Beaters was teaching their new teammate about Ravenclaw's tactics, something she knows some things about when she played Beater before Seeker. She should probably brush up a little, seeing as how she's Captain now, but it's early in the year so she has time. And besides, she has other things to attend to at the moment.

"Chris-"

"Nope."

She puffed out her cheeks and sighed. "Look, this is the last thing we're gonna do together before we graduate and go our separate ways. And think about how cool it would be to be able to turn into an owl on command!"

"Yeah, what about you? You want to be a squirrel?"

Kelley shrugged. "Well at least I know I'll be damn good at hide and seek." Christen chuckled and shook her head. Kelley smiled too. "It'll be fun. We can have parties in the Trunk. A squirrel, owl, wolf, fox, and a horse. We can even feed JJ some chocolate and see if she dies like real dogs."

"Hey, that's my best friend you're talking about!"

"What? I thought I was your best friend!"

"Well right now you're trying to kill me, so I'm going with her."

"Ouch, that's harsh, Press."

"Don't be so butthurt. You're a close third."

"Third?" Kelley cried, slightly offended.

"There's still Tobin."

"Stop, you're breakin' my heart, Chris." She grabbed the cloth in front of her heart and feigned pain. Down below, she saw the beginnings of a squabble starting between her players and knew it was time to end their conversation. "Oh shit. Please, just think about it, Chris. For me."

Christen watched her point the tip of her broom almost completely perpendicular to the ground and speed towards the group below them. She sat on her own broom for a second, still looking at Kelley for perhaps longer than she should have and gathering her thoughts, before flying over to the Chasers circling the goal loops and joined in tossing the Quaffle.

~~~~~

"We should get them together," Julie said. She thumbed through the book Kelley gave them before going to Quidditch practice. She doesn't know where Kelley gets these;she always manages to turn up with an intriguing book or two that are constantly defying Tobin's "No educational books are ever interesting" rule. It happens so often that they now have a half full bookcase filled with thick, old leather-bound books.

"Who?" Tobin asked.

"Kelley and Chris, dumbass." Julie glanced up, smirking, just in time to see a pillow fly at her face. It ricocheted off her head and into a gas lamp, sending it crashing to the floor and smashing to a pile of flaming fragments. Julie yelped in surprise but Alex sighed and pointed her wand at it, making the shards instantaneously seal themselves back together like nothing ever happened and then levitated it back on the table.

"Goddamn it, you guys can't keep breaking shit in here. It's not that big of a space," Alex complained. Tobin raised an eyebrow.

"Al, we're witches. We could break every damn thing in this room and have it all fixed in two minutes." Alex rolled her eyes and muttered obscenities to herself about her friend.

The room she was referring to was the space they had made in the trunk(as referred to by it's very creative name). It wasn't really "in" the trunk per se, but under it. In the ceiling above the room was a rectangular hole that feeds into the lid where they enter and exit with a ladder that extends down to the floor. Kind of like a tree house but upside down, so instead of climbing up they clinb down

A few couches and armchairs they found at lawn sales were arranged around a coffee table. The walls were of the same faded dirty white of the trunk's original interior, a color none of them particularly liked so it was covered mostly with posters and photos strewn about everywhere, mostly Muggle movies and bands they go to see together during the summers. There was an old record player in the corner enchanted to cycle through the records they've bought whenever someone is in the room. Most of the magical extras that made the Trunk special were done by Kelley, who always worked the hardest for their projects.

"Can we get back to the task at hand? How are we gonna them together?" Julie said again.

"We don't. Kelley has it handled," Alex said shortly. She stroked the fur of Kelley's cat as he jumped in her lap.

"Right, like she's handled it for the past eight months since developing her crush, and you know, the other stuff she won't tell us about. Come on! Kelley finally likes someone who isn't a bitch or an alcoholic and she's fucking it up."

"Well then what do you think we should do, JJ?" Tobin said, levitating a foam football above her head and making it dance by bobbing her wand up and down. With a flick of her wrist, she sent it hurtling towards Alex, who stopped it effortlessly a foot in front of her face.

"Well I'm trying to nudge Christen in Kelley's direction, but she's kinda stubborn. Kinda like you, Alex," Julie added with a subtle grin. Alex scowled and jerked her wand a little more viciously than Tobin and Julie, not having her wand in her own hand, failed to stop it. "You guys are violent today, you know that?"

Alex scoffed. "So are we just going to ignore the fact that Kelley wants us to turn into literal animals?"

"No, we aren't, because we're doing it," a voice from above said. They all glanced up to see Kelley sliding down the ladder, closely followed by Christen, who climbed down rung by rung. "By the way, I think we have to start keeping this thing somewhere else. One of our dormmates asked us about it today."

"Kelley, this is crazy."

"Moving it somewhere else? Why is that crazy?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

Kelley groaned. "So what? That's what makes it fun. Even Chris wants to do it!"

"Okay, first of all:I never said that. Second of all:'Even Chris'? What the hell does that mean?"

"It means you have a stick up your-" Julie piped in. Simulataneously, three more pillows were thrown at her, all of which hit their mark. "Christ, violent fuckers."

"Look, it's our last year, and this could be fun. And who knows, maybe it'll only take a couple months and we can spend the last of our seventh year dicking around."

"It's not the couple months I'm worried about, Kelley."

"Could be fun," Christen said quietly.

"Are you serious?!" Alex shouted.

"YES! Yes, Chris, fuck yeah!" Kelley jumped up from her love seat and tackled Christen in a hug. The others exchanged glances. Julie smirked. When she was finished, she turned around and looked at Alex expectantly. "It's four to one now, Morgan. What do you say?"

Alex closed her eyes and breathed deeply. "Fuck you."

"Is that a yes?"

She pursed her lips and said, "Fine."

"I gotta hear you say it."

"Don't push it Kelley," she muttered through gritted teeth. Kelley smiled and took her win, dancing around the room like a giddy child.

"Alright, so this weekend, Tobin and I can get the Mandrake leaves from the Herbology classrooms and then-"

"Christen can go with you," Tobin blurted out bluntly. Kelley blinked a couple times in confusion.

"Uh, okay? Chris, do you wanna go trick Professor Longbottom to give us Mandrake leaves?"

"Sure."

"Cool."

Julie smiled.

~~~~~

"Are you telling me I have to keep this in my mouth for an entire month?" Christen said, shocked. It was a somewhat large leaf, and it seemed impossible to be able to hold it in for that long.

Kelley laughed. "Yeah. I heard it gets easier when you get used to it though. You did great by the way. Longbottom didn't even notice me slip into the backroom," she said. "I can see why he likes you so much. All your teachers, really. You're good at talking to them. And you're smart and nice and everything."

Christen smiled uncomfortably under the praise. "O-oh, uh, thanks."

Kelley looked over and felt a pull at the edge of her mouth. Something she prides herself on is her ability to keep up her outward appearance. Even when anxiety is eating her intestines for whatever reason, she just reminds herself to breathe and smile like nothing's wrong. Christen, however, is a different story. She get's nervous, excited, happy, sad, and it shows. Kelley finds it adorable.

"What?" Christen said. Kelley blinked and realized she had been staring.

"What?"

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Oh, I'm just thinking of something nice," she whispered wistfully, suddenly becoming painfully aware of the ridiculous smile on her face.

"Okay?" Christen chuckled. "They're waiting for us in the Trunk right?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Okay." They pushed open one of the giant front doors to the castle and wandered up to the Ravenclaw tower. Kelley made conversation with the sphinx that asked the entry riddle, but eventually Christen got her to shut up so they could go upstairs and start their journey of sorts.

They had to wait a bit for one of their dormmates to leave as to keep their secret, then climbed down the ladder. Tobin and Alex were playing wizards' chess and Julie was knocked out on the couch.

"You get it?" Tobin asked, unwilling to tear her eyes away from watching her bishop destroy Alex's pawn(she never wins so she has to relish in these small moments).

"Yeah." Kelley walked over to the record player, currently playing Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture. With a slightly malicious smirk, she quickly turned the volume dial, which just so happens to have been right next to Julie's head.

"You're an ass," groaned Julie as she stretched out her limbs and glared at her. "Didn't get any damn sleep last night."

"Too busy celebrating your win, huh?" Ravenclaw and Gryffindor had their first game of the year last night. Didn't go well for Kelley. Those Beaters still had a lot of work to do.

"Don't get salty Kell. We won fair and square."

"I know, I know. We're gonna get you next time though. Up, up, come on. You can go back to sleep in a couple hours, Sleeping Beauty. For now, we have some stuff to do." She tugged on her arm and got her to sit up.

"It's Saturday, Kell, I'm not doing shit tonight."

"It's not much. I just need you to put some of my stuff in your mouth. Keep it there for a while. Maybe lick it bit, you know, get it wet with your spit."

Julie crinkled her nose. "You're fucking disgusting."

"Yeah, I guess that spot is already reserved for Zach, huh?" Kelley skidding away as Julie took a sloppy swing at her.

"Kelley, when are we supposed to eat those?" Alex asked.

"Uh, well okay, you can't actually eat it or spit it out because then we have to start over. And to answer your question, tonight at the full moon. I don't know if it matters if the sun is out, but we're gonna wait just to be sure."

"Sun sets in a couple hours, right? I'll be right back." Julie hopped up the ladder before anyone could ask her where she's going.

"Kell, how are we supposed to eat and function with this big-ass leaf in our mouths?" Tobin said.

Kelley shrugged. "You're asking me? I've never held a leaf in my mouth for a month. I guess we'll just have to figure it out as we go."

Alex shook her head and played her next move while Kelley sat next to Christen on the couch that Julie was previously sleeping on.

"Hey. Thank you for agreeing to this," she said. "I've been thinking about this for years since we learned about it in Transfiguration. I wanted to do it so bad, and right now, sitting here with all of you is like a dream come true."

Christen seemed taken back by her soft-spokenness. "You're welcome."

"Yeah. I know it's a lot to ask from you guys, and I was not expecting you guys to agree so quickly."

Christen opened her mouth to tell her that Tobin and Julie asked her and Alex to just say yes to whatever it was going to be this year, just to make Kelley happy. But didn't. "Don't worry about it. Turning into an owl could be cool. If I ever have to run from the cops, I'll have a solid way to do it."

"What? You? Perfect Pressy? You're more likely to get struck by lightning in the next five seconds."

Christen scoffed and Kelley leaned her head on her shoulder.

"What am I gonna do while we wait for the sun to set?" Kelley groaned.

"Well you know, you could always to homework," Christen suggested, knowing full well that was never going to happen.

"I already did all my homework."

Christen smiled, and then a few seconds later, furrowed her brow and turned towards her friend. "No you didn't."

"No, I didn't. But you were really happy there for a second, weren't you?" Kelley giggled as Christen rolled her eyes, but a rush of adrenaline hit her. Kelley's laughter made her feel warm inside.

They waited a few hours for the sun to set, someone being sent up every once in a while to check. They were about to go out to find Julie when she came flying down the ladder, hair disheveled and sweater backwards.

Tobin took one look at her and laughed loudly. "Did you seriously just do it with Zach?"

"No, of course not. But if I'm sucking on that thing for a month then we can't...do s-stuff, for a while." Now everyone was laughing.

"Holy shit, you're _that_ horny?"

"Shut up." She flopped into the arm chair and flipped around her sweater. "So are we doing this or what?"

Kelley fished a bag from her robes pocket and distributed a leaf to everyone. "So are we just ignoring the fact that I still think this is a stupid idea?" Alex said.

"Yep."

"Awesome," she mumbled. "Full moon to full moon?"

"Full moon to full moon," Kelley confirm. "Alright, bottoms up." They tapped their leaves together like shot glasses and took the plunge.

~~~~~

They all slept in the Trunk that night, and many weekend nights after that, staying up late and trying to figure out how to cope with the leaf, but other than that there wasn't much talking. Tobin was having problems only drinking water because she really likes butterbeer and Alex is having trouble sleeping because she always sleeps on her back, but she can't because then she runs the risk of swallowing the leaf. And in general it's fairly uncomfortable to hold a leaf in one's mouth for a month.

"Chrith! How wath the Tranthfigurathon homework?" Julie said. She dropped her books on the table in the library, perhaps louder than she should have.

"Stop it. It's been two weeks, that joke's getting old." Julie chuckled and saliva-glued the leaf to the roof of her mouth and then stuck it there with a Sticking Charm.

"Did you though? 'Cause one of my Chasers got hurt a couple days ago so I'm trying to learn the position and give one of the younger Beaters a chance."

Christen raised an eyebrow. "Last night? What the hell were doing out there, it was freezing!"

"Put your mom-pants away Chris, I was wearing like three coats."

"I'm just saying, if you get sick, I'm not taking care of you again."

Julie scoffed. "Aw, Chris, we both know that's not true. So how's Kelley?"

"Yeah, she's been spending a lot of time at the pitch because some scouts are gonna be watching our next few games for her."

"Yeah? Why aren't you out there with her? This is a good opportunity for you too."

"I usually do, but right now I have some stuff I need to do. Why do you ask?"

"Just wanted to see if you knew." Julie smirked cheekily.

Christen rolled her eyes and continued writing her essay. "She's in my house and one of my best friends. Why shouldn't I know?"

"Well I'm just asking 'cause you are so clearly in love with her."

Christen's quill snapped on the parchment and an ugly blotch spilled out on her essay. With a sigh, she repaired her quill and sucked the ink up without a word.

"So you're not even going to try to deny it?"

"What am I supposed to say, JJ? You're obviously not going to drop it regardless."

"Well, you're _supposed_ to say:" Julie paused, cleared her throat, and said in a high falsetto voice, "'Kelley? Yes, I am in fact madly in love with her and at night when our dormmates are asleep, I would like to rip off-'"

Christen quickly shoved her hand over her best friend's mouth and used the other to cover her own face and the blush that was quickly becoming apparent. Even so, she couldn't help but smile at her ridiculousness. "Okay, okay, okay, that's enough. Look Jay, I don't know what to tell you. I don't like Kelley that way."

"Yeah, and I'm not going to fail Transfiguration this semester." Christen rolled her eyes. "What? I thought we were talking about bullshit we tell ourselves to make us feel better."

"It's not bullshit."

"Oh come on! You spend all your time with her. You let her copy your homework, which I know you hate-"

"And yet you continuously keep asking."

"-and Goddamn it, you're becoming an Animagus for her!" Julie whisper-shouted, finally taking note of the quiet library. "You don't do that for nobody, Chris."

"Kelley's not nobody, but she's not that somebody either."

"So you're admitting it?"

Christen bit her lip and closed her eyes, praying that this whole conversation would go away. She opened them, and looked at Julie with a dangerous expression. "Alright, fine, I got it."

Finally, Julie at least opened her books and pulled out a piece of parchment paper and a quill. She dipped the tip of her quill in the ink and hovered just above surface. "I just have one question."

"Oh my God."

"What are you so afraid of?"

"JJ, you know people come to libraries to study, right?"

"Yeah, and I promise after this, I'll shut up." Christen groaned and put down her own quill. She had just one more paragraph to write, and then she would have been done.

"Look, Kelley's just-you know, she's...bad at relationships. Remember Isabelle and Lizzie and Karen? I don't want us to implode and never talk to each other again."

"But she likes you so much more than she liked them. They were just a couple steps up from one-night-stands. She's been pursuing you for months now, which is a hell of a lot more than we can say about them."

"That doesn't mean she's gotten better at it."

"No, but it means she has more motivation to keep this one alive."

"Why do you care so much anyway?"

"Because I love you, and I love Kelley, and I want you guys to be happy. Also this is incredibly annoying to everyone and I've taken it upon myself to alleviate our pain."

"Right, _your_ pain."

"Kelley really likes you Chris, and you just said you like her. So why don't you stop pussy-footing around and go on a damn date with her?" Julie said. She didn't mean for it to come out so aggressive, but this is something that's been irking the rest of them for quite some time. She's sick of hearing Christen talk about Kelley constantly, and yet be so determined not to date her.

Christen didn't say anything.

Julie scoffed and made a face. "Yeah, that's what I thought," she mumbled, dejected, finally beginning her homework.

~~~~~

"Kelley, remind me again why I had to wake up at five in the morning to scrape water off the ground?" Alex said, slightly miffed and grouchy without having her morning coffee.

"Because it's part of the process Al. We need to put a silver teaspoon of dew that hasn't seen the sun or been touched by human feet for seven days in the phial with our spit-leaves, and the next full moon is in eight days so we need to prepare."

"Well yeah, I already knew that part," Alex snapped. "I meant why am _I_ here specifically?"

"Well would you rather be breaking into Professor Prickhead's potion stores and stealing the Death's-head Hawk Moth chrysalis with JJ and Tobs? Look, Chris drew the long straw and they got the short straws."

"And why wasn't I there to do it with you guys?"

"You were in class! And we lost track of time and just did it right then so we wouldn't forget again."

Alex huffed and filled up her second silver teaspoon with dew. It was early November, when the night temperatures were dropping but day time was still warmish. Perfect to get their dew.

"So what's going on with you and Christen?" Alex asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I dunno, you guys are a lot closer than you were last year. Like, it's just-it's different, I guess. A lot is different with you. Did something happen over the summer?"

Kelley froze momentarily. "No." Yes. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Well regardless, you should ask her out. She obviously likes you," Alex said offhandedly. Kelley pursed her lips into almost a frown. Alex looked at her curiously;that's not the reaction she was expecting.

"I've been asking her out since February," Kelley pointed out.

"But not this year, when she's obviously into you. You've been flirting a lot though, but you guys are like, more emotionally distant than last year. What gives?"

Kelley stood upright with her three teaspoons of dew and gazed at the rising sun. "I just...don't want to keep bothering her with that. If she wants to go on a date then she can ask me out." It wasn't technically a lie, but it wasn't the full truth either. It barely skims the surface of the truth.

Alex stood up too. "So now you're playing mind games with the genius? Wonderful."

Kelley shrugged and nodded her head in the direction of the castle so Alex knows it's time to go. They walked over the hills and valleys of the Hogwarts lawn in what Kelley hoped would be an unmitigated silence.

They went up to the Ravenclaw tower and up to the seventh year girls' dormitory. In the 21st century, it wasn't uncommon to see students in different houses than their own. It was a new generation, and the fierce rivalries have been forgotten in time. Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff the most, since Gryffindor and Slytherin both had passwords and it's a bit of a hassle sometimes. But it's alright because none of them except Alex finds anything remotely comforting about the dim, lake-water tinted and vaguely menacing Slytherin common room. Kelley loves Gryffindor though. She feels at peace in the warm and homely atmosphere. Ravenclaw is too fancy and palace-y for her liking, too cold and meticulous. Hufflepuff is okay.

Christen opened her eyes for a fleeting second and watched Kelley heave the Trunk on her bed and then hop inside, soon followed by Alex, smiling wide. She felt a twang of jealosy before closing her eyes once again.

~~~~~

Kelley couldn't stop smiling. The full moon above her head means she can finally spit out her Mandrake leaf, but first she just had to stand there and look at it for a second, and thank God it wasn't a cloudy night or they would have had to do it all over again.

They have to spit it out in full view of the moon's rays into a phial with the dew, chrysalis, and a one of their hairs. Julie, Tobin, and Alex all came out an hour earlier and did theirs together.

"Kelley, it's really creepy how you're staring at the moon. You look like you're about to profess your undying love to it," Christen sneered.

"I _am_ about to profess my love to it. Are you trying to tell me you're not happy to be able to spit this thing out?"

"Yeah, but not manic happy. You have a crazy Joker smile going on right now."

Kelley shrugged and slung an arm around Christen's shoulders. "Oh, but Chris, _it's the most wonderful time of the yeeeaaar!_ " Kelley scream-sang. Christen's eyes widen and immediately clamped her hand over Kelley's mouth, canvassing the area around them to see if anyone was out to hear her.

"Shit, Kell, you're gonna get us caught. And why the hell are you singing Christmas songs right now?"

"Because this moment, right here and now, is the most wonderful time of the year, when I get to spit this shit thing out. It tastes like pool scum and I hate it."

Christen rolled her eyes and pushed Kelley off her shoulder, trying(and failing) to hide her grin. "Just do it, O'Hara. I want to go back to sleep."

They pulled out their phials from their pockets, and extra-careful to make sure it was in full view of the moon, spit out their saliva-saturated leaves.

 


	2. Amato Animo Animato Animagus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Step 2.  
> For all the nights after consuming the Animagus potion, one must repeat the spell "Amato Animo Animato Animagus" at dawn and dusk every day until the next lightning storm. Failure to do so will result in the repitition of Step 1.

"What's the rush, Chris?" Kelley whined. "It's an empty castle. A whole-ass castle! Don't you at least wanna walk around for a bit?" Kelley grabbed her hand to make her slow her walk. Christen tried to yank it back, but Kelley kept a firm grip on it and ended up getting pulled into her. They collided and Kelley tumbled to the floor, giggling uncontrollably for reasons that were beyond Christen's comprehension. "Oh, come on! Relax a little bit!"

"No! We aren't supposed to be out right now!" She scowled and huffed. "Look, you might be okay with being all risky and breaking every fucking rule in the book, but I'm not, so can we just get back to the tower already?" Christen snapped. She found herself breathing heavily, and her heart pounding out of her chest with nervous energy, and not the good kind. But it's late and she's tired and irritable, and the only thing she would like to do now is go back to bed and rest for her test tomorrow.

Kelley's expression softened and she got up from the floor, dusting herself off. "Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, let's just...yeah," she said gently. She shoved her fists in her pockets and her shoulders unconsciously bunched up in tension. Christen felt a wave of guilt when she watched Kelley start ambling in the direction of Ravenclaw Tower, somehow making even that look disappointed.

She crushed her spirit, her happy midnight excursion, and instantly wanted to take it back.

"You coming?" Kelley asked when she realized Christen was no longer by her side.

"Uh, yeah," she stammered. They walked through the halls and up the stairs in complete silence, with a general uncomfortable feeling hanging over them.

They stopped at a closet where a small wooden box was hidden on a shelf that contained a plastic test-tube holder. Three spot were already filled, and the two placed their phials inside next to the others.

They were so close to the door when Kelley glanced back and saw a shadow stretched over the torch-lit hallway they just came from. "Fuck, Christen, run!" she whispered, looking back over her shoulder to see the shadow growing as it approach the corner that kept them out of view.

"What?"

"Go!" Kelley was already sprinting. Christen looked back too and saw the shadow. Shock raced through her body before the thought of moving even occured to her.

She almost made it. Just as she turned the corner, the school's caretaker caught the very tail end of her shoes as they flailed about on the stone floor in search for friction. "Hey, you! Stop!"

Christen was in a state if sheer panic. Her hands cupped her mouth as she looked to Kelley, whose face was oddly gaunt, save for her eyes which bounced around while she thought. A few seconds later, before Christen found it in herself to reveal herself, Kelley leaned in close and whispered, "Get inside", then rushed passed her out into the open.

"Hello! How are you on this fine evening?" Kelley boomed brightly. She walked to meet the caretaker in the hall so that he would stop and not be able to see Christen.

"O'Hara. Of course it's you. What are you doing out at this hour?"

"Bad dreams. Needed some air."

"Just because this is you're last year doesn't mean you get special privileges."

"Of course not. I'm just taking a walk, trying clear my head."

Christen felt like crying as she heard Kelley take the fall for her. Her body crumbled to the floor, head between her knees and arms hugging her legs. She wished she was courageous enough to do that herself. The gall to be bold and risky and confident. But she's afraid. Afraid to step over the line even a little. Afraid to live in the moment like Kelley because the looming consequences outweigh the excitement. She wished she could be more like Kelley.

"I was just going to _go back to my common room_ and take another swing at counting sheep."

Christen took the hint, quietly slipping into the tower and up to the dorms.

 

When Kelley arrived five minutes later, she pulled the curtains on her four-poster bed and was surprised to see the Trunk sitting on the covers. Confused, she slipped inside and shut the lid gently behind her as to not wake anyone.

Christen leaned on the wall, hugging Mercury and popping the joints in her hands. A blank expression betrayed a flurry of thoughts that fought each other in her brain. "What are you doing to my cat, Press? You're torturing him," Kelley said. Distracted by her distress, she didn't even notice Mercury squirming to escape her.

"Why did you do that?" Christen whispered.

Kelley raised an eyebrow. "Really? Chris, do you seriously think I'd let you get caught roaming around in the middle of the night?" She scoffed. "Come on." Kelley flopped over the back of the couch and stroked Mercury's head.

"You didn't have to do that."

"Yeah, I did. You know I did. Head Girl can't be caught getting into this sort of shit. You're supposed to me a role mode for all the little youngins. And me, I'm not exactly known to be a straight-line kind of person."

"You're not known to be a straight anything."

Kelley laughed. She was happy that Christen was loosening up. "But you get what I'm saying. I have a tendency to stray. Nobody would be surprised if I get Saturday detention." She shrugged. "I don't see what the fuss is about. I'm the reason we were out so much longer than we should have anyway, so it stands to reason I should take the blame. And also you're...you. You have a panic attack if you even think about getting in trouble. I'd be a terrible friend if I didn't."

"Or a stupidly amazing person," Christen mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing." Christen sat down on the recliner and rubbed her temples.

"Christen, this isn't that big of a deal. What's wrong?" Kelley sat up and looked at her with concern, a look Christen always found adorable. Big, round, soft eyes that always seemed to have a certain glint no matter the lighting and mouth slightly ajar like she never remembers to close it.

She was right about one thing though. It wasn't just that Kelley took the blame for being out after hours. Her feelings have been becoming more and more apparent and pressing. And Julie(and basically everyone else) has been urging her to do something about it, but she's been too scared. But tonight, Kelley's selfless heroism(as Christen likes to see it), has inspired her, given her courage.

Christen pushed herself off the wall and sat on the couch next to Kelley. "Kell, why do you like me?"

Kelley furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Uh, like..."

"Like, _like_ like," Christen said.

Kelley opened and closed her mouth a few times. This is not how she thought this conversation would go. "U-uh, well...what?"

"It's just-it's something to help me think," Christen murmured, twiddling her thumbs and gazing at her friend nervously.

"Okay, um...you're really smart and hardworking. You never blow off school like the rest of us do sometimes. First-year me thought it was annoying as hell, but now I think it's cute, in like a nerdy, Barry Allen-Peter Parker kind of way. You're always so nice and sweet to me, even when I go off on my insane magic trips and forget to eat. You'd come down here or wherever with a plate of food and some water and leave it on top of my books so I would have to it eat it." Unconsciously, she smiled wistfully, toothy and with her tongue sticking out a little bit.

"And I really feel like you care. When I felt like I had to leave home in August, I went to your house. I could've gone to so many other places, but I went to yours because I knew I would be happy and welcome, and because I trust you more than anyone else. I think it's what I like most about you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. And you know what? I think it's the reason I started liking you. Last year, when JJ got super sick but didn't want to go to the hospital wing, you stayed in the Gryffindor dorms for three days while she got better, even after you had that screaming match about it. I was so blown away that you did that. It was so astounding to me, you don't even know. And I...I think..." Kelley trailed off. She didn't know where that sentence was going, but it didn't matter because she realized how close her's and Christen's faces had gotten and lost all ability to think properly. She got lost in the deep brown of her eyes and all the muscles in her face went slack.

Christen noticed to. It was like it was all happening in slow motion. Kelley leaning in, and herself closing her eyes and doing the same. They kissed, and for a split second she felt chills and butterflies reverberate through her body. It was a wonderful, magical second.

But then, she felt it. The icy, paralyzing rock in her gut that grew and extended through all her limbs in a heartbeat. Something that's infected her for her entire life, something that she hates with every fiber of her being: fear.

And she knew that she couldn't do it.

"I-I can't. I'm sorry." She pulled away and jumped up, scrambling up the ladder as fast as she could. Right before she shut the lid to the Trunk, Christen caught a glimpse of Kelley's face. She was sitting just how she left her, staring at the space Christen used to be, heartbroken and confused.

Christen laid on her bed for a half hour, crying silently to herself and waiting for Kelley to leave the trunk too. She never did.

~~~~~

"Wait, so you...you what? Explain it to me again," Tobin said, rubbing her face. She was laying on her bed, feet propped up on the posts, arms folded over her chest and eyes shut like she was trying to block out the turmoil Christen had flung their group into. Christen and Julie sat on the bed too, next to each other leaning on the headboard. The curtains were drawn which gave the whole space a yellowish glow, even more so from the aged oil lamp on Tobin's bedside table. It was always comforting to Christen, the way everything would be tinted slightly the color of butterscotch, but right now nothing could calm her nerves.

Christen hugged a pillow close to her body and buried her face in it, wetting the fabric with tears left on her cheeks. "I asked her to tell me what she likes about me, and then ran out on her after we kissed," she whispered hollowly. Regret and shame ate at her insides to an almost painful extent.

"Okay, but I still don't understand why you ran away."

"Because I was afraid!" Christen exclaimed explosively. "I was afraid, okay? I thought I could do it, but then when it was actually happening I thought of all the people and relationships she's messed up and I chickened out."

She wished so much to be able to go back in time eighteen hours and do it all over again, but if time had taught her anything, it wouldn't change anything.

"Tobs, where's Alex?" Julie said.

"With Kelley, I think. Probably having this same conversation."

Christen scoffed. "I doubt they're having the same conversation we are."

"Well regardless of what they're talking about, what are you going to do now?" Julie said. Christen sighed deeply, averting her eyes to her toes.

"I don't know," she mumbled. Julie and Tobin made eye contact and frowned. They were well aware of Christen's inability to take the big jump. Together, egged on by her friends, she could maybe do whatever it is that they were doing, but alone, the times when she would act with the same courage were few and far in between. "I think I really fucked up this time."

"No, you di...okay yeah, maybe a little bit." Julie grabbed Christen's hand and squeezed it. "But you know what? Tobs and I are gonna help you fix it, so don't even worry about it."

"We are?" Tobin piped in, glancing up at the Gryffindor with one eyebrow raised as she tried to comprehend how they would even do that, or where to start.

"Yep, we are," she confirmed.

~~~~~

Alex looked down at her friend, sighing and massaging the bridge of her nose. Kelley was slumped over in the recliner, garbling the words to _Fly Me To The Moon_ and head balanced precariously on the palm of her hand, swaying slowly. A bottle of firewhiskey and a knocked over shot glass was on the table in front of her. A solid eight or nine shots worth of whiskey was missing from the bottle.

"Why?" Alex said, jaw clenched with a subtle snarl to her lip. She didn't mind if her friends did it to have fun. In fact she'll probably join in. She did mind if she were doing it to deal with issues, which is something else entirely. And this instance very obviously falls under the "something else" category. Kelley groaned, rolling her eyes from the floor to Alex and blinking a couple times as she tried to discern which of the hazy theee Alexes she was seeing was the real one. "'Cause it's not every day you get drunk on a Wednesday afternoon after skipping all your classes for the day."

"I's Wed-nis-day, I only had, like five," she mumbled, and made a clumsy reach for the bottle. Alex plucked it off the table before she could get close and levitated it on top of the bookshelf.

"Where did you even get that?" Alex said, exasperated. She crinkled her nose at the spicy smell in the air. Kelley must have spilled some on the carpet and table.

"The house elfs are very generous, y'know. I told them I needed it for a potion, and they gave me two." She held up two fingers and pointed at a pile of broken glass on the floor. Alex sighed again and repaired the bottle, but the puddle of alcohol remained. "I should go thank them!" Kelley exclaimed, trying to push herself off the recliner, but Alex caught her and gently sat her back down.

"I swear to god if you didn't say that spell at sundown and we have to do this whole thing over again, I'll kill you," Alex muttered, more so to herself than Kelley.

"Don' worry, I did. And it was soooooo pretty. And blue. Pretty and blue." Kelley giggled and grasped at her heart where the spell was done.

"Goddamn it." Alex sat down on the table in front of Kelley and rubbed circles in her temples. She didn't know if she should be concerned or furious. It didn't take much thought to find that she was both. "Kelley," She snapped her fingers in front of her face to catch her attention. "Why the fuck are you drunk?"

"Because Christen. Fucking Christen," she snapped, frowning like four year old.

"What happened with Christen?"

"She's fucking with me. She started it, and then she just left. Why did she pull away? It could've been so nice, but she fucking ran away from me. Again. What the fuck is so wrong with me that she doesn't love me? Why doesn't Christen love me, Al?"

"Oh my god, you fucking drunk idiot," Alex whispered. She pressed her mouth into a line, trying to piece together what happened with the scrambled bits and piece of information she had. "So wait, you guys had like a moment or something and she ran away?"

"And we kissed. That's important, ya can't forget it."

"Okay, so then you...hold up, did you say 'Again'?"

"Yep. Because the same thing happened over the summer."

"What happened over the summer, Kelley?"

"I...don't remember." Kelley giggled again. Her head lolled back while she sang the theme song to Phineas and Ferb.

Alex scoffed and bit her lip. "I'm so fucking pissed at you right now. If you ever get drunk like this again I'll stab you with your own wand before the hospital gets to declare your alcohol poisoning. Like, Jesus fucking Christ Kelley, this is the third time, and you promised me you wouldn't again!" She sighed. "You're not even gonna remember this in the morning and I won't be able to yell at you again because I'll still be pissed, you asshole," Alex grumbled. She grabbed a blanket from the shelf and draped it over her friend, then laid down herself on the couch with a book to wake Kelley up at sunrise.

~~~~~

Alex grabbed the backs of Tobin and Julie's hoods as they walked to breakfast and yanked them into an alcove. "Alright, next time, I get to deal with hysterical Christen, and you two get drunk Kelley," she hissed angrily. "God, you have no idea how fucking hard it is to get a hungover lump to say _Amato Animo Animato Animagus_ at five thirty in the morning. I can barely do that sober!"

Tobin chuckled. "How drunk was she?"

Alex smacked Tobin on the arm. "It's not funny, Tobin! This is the third time this year she gets drunk when she gets upset or whatever. Fuck, she was so wasted. It was like spaces in between words were non-existent. And she kept singing something called a 'Phineas and Ferb'? What the hell is that?"

Julie grinned uncontrollably as she suppressed laughter. "Oh, I love pure-bloods."

"What?"

"Don't worry about it. So what are we gonna do? We can't just let this shit go on between them. Christen's upset, and Kelley's..."

"Mad. Really, really mad. She thinks Christen's screwing with her feelings," Alex finished. "Because apparently, this is the second time," Alex huffed as she recalled the previous frustrating night when she tried to pry information from Kelley.

"What? When was the first time?" Tobin said.

"Over the summer sometime. I dunno, she was too drunk for me to get anything real out of her."

"Maybe that's why she came back this year so weird and different," Julie said, scratching her head guiltily.

"Weird and different" are not the most descriptive words, nor do they do Kelley justice, but none of them knew anything else to say. It was the little things they noticed, like her spending more time studying magic and less hanging out with them, or how Christen would catch her zoning out on her bed sometimes, something her overactive brain never allowed her to do before. But when they ask her about it, she writes it off as nothing and changes the subject.

"Yeah, maybe," Alex said. "Damn it."

"Damn what?" Kelley hobbled over, her tie tied grossly incorrect around her neck and just everything about her looking distinctly hungover. Alex jumped, startled, then glared at her and stormed away. Julie looked between them and frowned, deciding to follow her. "Ah, shit. Guess she really is mad at me. I kinda remember her saying something about alcohol poisoning and stabbing me last night."

"Then maybe you should should deal with your issues like a rational human instead of getting trashed," Tobin said belligerently.

Kelley scoffed. "Isn't it a little early for everyone to be so pissed off?"

"Maybe for your hungover ass."

"Tobin-"

"No, look, just-Kell, what's going on with you? Last year, you wouldn't have even considered this as a solution, and now look at you."

Kelley felt tears bubbling up in her eyes and hot rage in her chest. "Look, Tobin, you don't understand."

"No, I don't. Help me."

"It's-" Kelley took a shaky breath through her teeth and clenched her jaw. "family stuff," she choked out. "It's just family stuff, okay? And yes, I know I haven't been dealing with it great, and no, this stuff with Christen hasn't helped, and no, I don't want to talk about it right now, alright? I'm sorry."

Tobin watched her best friend take off away from her and down a flight of moving stairs. "What the fuck is happening?" she whispered to herself. She took the long way down to the Great Hall.

Kelley was gone by the time she arrived at the large double doors, already down the hall with some toast and a hotcake, a new letter crushed in her fist. Blankly, Tobin shuffled over to the Ravenclaw table and sat with her friends. Nobody said a word for the longest time.

"Chris, what happened over the summer with Kelley?" Alex asked finally.

Christen could feel three pairs of eyes staring at her without looking up from her plate. She twirled her fork between her fingers nervously and shrugged. "She came to my house a couple weeks before school started. I don't even know how she got from Georgia to Cali in the middle of night, but she was there, in my backyard, and said she couldn't stay at home anymore."

"Why not?" Tobin said.

"I don't think it's my place to say. But then, about a week later," She paused, blowing a thick stream of air our of her mouth that puffed out her cheeks. "we sorta ended up making out a little bit. It was pretty late, and it just happened."

"Really? It just happened?" Julie said skeptically.

"Yeah, JJ, why?" Christen said, slightly defensively.

"Because I know you, and you're so anal that you don't do anything without thinking of it five times over."

"Okay, fine, maybe we were a little tipsy...or a little more than tipsy."

"Oh my god." Everyone groaned collectively.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? But I couldn't do it. I got scared like I did a couple days ago and I pushed her away. God, I'm a fucking coward," Christen muttered. She ran her hands roughly through her hair and hoped someone would say to contrary, but was met with a cold, uncomfortable silence instead.

~~~~~

Kelley drew the curtains on her bed and laid down, placing her breakfast on her stomach. Her mother always told her it was unhealthy to eat like that, but she's been trying her hardest to avoid thinking of her family so she quickly shoved that out of her mind. It's been difficult to do that though when her mother and sister send her letters every other week.

Speaking of which, the most recent letter was laying, crumpled and sad, next to her. Every time an owl drops one in her lap, she's always tempted to burn it to a pile of smoldering ash, just for the grief and turmoil they always give her.

She used to hate these moments, nothing to do or read or learn, but now she hates them for a different reason. They leave her to herself and her own thoughts, which she discovered make her more upset than they used to. And yet, they happen more and more often as emotions muddles her head and she loses the focus to do other things.

Kelley finished off the pile of carbs on her stomach-table and then borderline growled, banging her head on her pillow. It was dark in the morning without any lamps lit or sunlight from the windows, so she lit up the tip of her wand and tore into the envelope. It was from her sister.

Kelley read the letter. And then she read it again. And again twice more. Her attention kept lingering on the last few words.

_Please write back, we miss you, even if Jerry and Dad won't say so._

_-Erin_

She gently refolded the letter and rubbed her face. Stress and anxiety were eating at her from the inside out, and she knows she should get up and apologize to Alex before classes start, but she just couldn't. Not right now.

~~~~~

"CHRISTEN! CHRISTEN! CHRISTIAN! CHRISTOPHER!" Julie flew over to where Christen was hovering far above where their mock seventh-years-only monthly Quidditch game was being played. Tobin flew up too after calling a time-out. "You know if you fly up higher the air will become too thin to breathe and you'll pass out, fall, and die."

"Is this really what they teach you in muggle schools?" Christen snapped, even if she did feel a bit light-headed.

"No, it's what my dad taught me when we get $8 baseball tickets in the nose-bleeds."

Christen furrowed her brow in confusion. "What's-"

"I swear to God, if you say 'What's baseball', I'll kick you off your broom," Julie said. Christen glared at her.

"I was going to say what are the nose-bleeds."

"That's still so saddening."

"JJ, shut up. Chris, what the hell are you doing? We're getting our asses kicked because our best point-scorer is star-gazing mid-game!"

"I-I got distracted."

"By what?" Tobin said. Christen made a "The fuck do you think?" face and they groaned. "Look, it's been two weeks. If you're so distraught over Kelley, then why don't you just go talk to her?"

"She stopped sleeping in our dorm so I don't have the chance."

Julie scoffed. "Oh, come on, Chris, you know if you really wanted to talk to her, you would've went out and found her." A pause. "What are you always so afraid of?"

Christen shook her head. "Everything."

Tobin sighed. "Just try to keep your head in the game, okay?" She tipped her broom downwards and called time-in.

"Can't keep avoiding the problem, Chris," Julie said, then sped away like Tobin.

Christen looked to the orange afternoon sky above her. "God save me," she muttered, then joined to game again.

After the game, Tobin hastily stripped off her Quidditch uniform and rushed out of the locker room. Her clothes were still a messy sort of dishevelled when she almost tripped down the stairs to the dungeons and skidded to a halt in front of a seeming inocuous wall that hides the Slytherin common room entrance.

Tobin sent her Patronus through the wall to fetch Alex for her and took the time while she was waiting to fix her clothes.

A door revealed itself the stone in front of her, and out walked an irritated Alex Morgan. "What the fuck? Do you know how many weird looks I got when a silver fucking fox comes in and screeches at me?"

Tobin chuckled and smiled apologetically. "Can I come in?"

Alex stepped aside and huffed. "Not that I'm not thrilled to see you, but what do you want?"

"Warm as ever, Al," Tobin said sarcastically. Alex muttered something under her breath that sounded vaguely like, "It's too late for your shit". Tobin opened her mouth to make a short quip about her grumpiness, but refrained. "So uh, I need to talk to Kelley," Tobin said instead.

"Kelley's not here," Alex said.

"Then I guess I'm waiting here until she is." Tobin leaned up against the window and grinned and waved at a fish swimming by in the lake.

" _Hufflepuffs_ ," Alex sneered quietly. Tobin scowled at her.

"Hey Al, have you seen my Potions book?" Kelley walked out of one of the passageways that lead to the dorms. "Oh shit." Tobin looked expectantly at Alex, who shrugged impassively. "I asked her to tell you I'm not here," Kelley interjected.

"Well either way, we need to talk," Tobin said. She jerked her head in the direction of the door and the group followed her out.

Kelley frowned. "Yeah, I don't really want to talk about it."

"I haven't even said anything yet," Tobin protested.

"You came here to talk about Christen, and I don't want to."

"Well, it's been two weeks and now we have to," Tobin said solemnly, suddenly realizing how much she didn't want to be the one to have this conversation.

"Twelve days, actually."

"It's close enough."

"Yeah, but I'd really like those two extra days." Kelley cracked a smile in hopes Tobin would too. She did, and stepped forward, close enough for them to have a personal conversation.

"Kell, I miss you, and I haven't seen you enough since you and Christen had your thing 'cause you spend all you time hiding here. I miss your stupid jokes and your dumbass smile," Tobin whispered. "In a completely platonic way. I don't want to fuck you," Tobin added bluntly, smiling subtly.

"Well gee Tobs, that totally _doesn't_ sounds like something you'd say if you wanted to fuck me."

"You know, I would, but Chris already has dibs, so..."

"Not currently."

"So am I just supposed to stand here while you guys make plans to do it?" Alex said loudly.

"Oh, if you knew," Tobin chuckled, but Alex's glare killed her temporary happy spirit. "Not in the mood, huh? Okay," she mumbled.

"You and me both," Kelley said. "So are we done here?"

"No! Look, I know Christen is...she's-" Tobin stammered, not quite knowing how to phrase her thoughts.

"A fucking coward," Kelley snapped. "Yeah, I already knew. I'm sure she's already told you about our other 'thing' from the summer?" Nods confirmed her assumptions. "Then you already know this is the second time, and by now she's just screwing with me. She's yanking me around."

"She's not, she's just scared, I think," Tobin said hesitantly.

"Of what?" Kelley exploded. "Why is everyone telling me she's scared? What the fuck is she scared of?"

"Well I don't know about you, but I'd be pretty scared too if the person I was in love with had a fucking body count," Tobin snapped back.

Kelley was visibly taken back by her words. "In love" played back in her head a couple times before regaining her bearings. "Fine, but if she really cared for me she would've sucked it up and stayed because she would've trusted me when I told her how much I liked her. Even now, if she wanted to be with me, she'd be the one here, not you," she snarled. She didn't realize how riled up she was becoming until she felt her heart pumping in her throat and all her muscles indescribebly tense.

"So if she came here you'd be willing to talk to her?" Tobin said.

Kelley sighed silently. "I don't know. Ask me again in two days."

They watched Kelley mutter the password and stalk back into the Slytherin common room.

But inside, Kelley just sniffled and thumbed away a stray tear. She could never admit how much she really misses Christen, how she's not actually just staring into space at meals, but instead staring at her. At the same time though, there is no way she's going to say anything. Maybe it's pride, maybe it's stubborness, but she's not doing it.

~~~~~

Tobin slid down the ladder and stopped herself inches from the floor like she had dozens of times before. Alex rolled her eyes and scoffed. She never understood the point.

"Can you guys believe we sat here together almost two months ago and talked about getting Christen and Kelley together, and now all this is happening?" Julie said. She sighed. "I miss them."

"You see them both every day JJ," Alex pointed out.

"I meant together. Like-you know what I'm talking about. They did everything together and now it's just...wrong, I guess."

"No, I get you," Alex frowned. "They were connected at the hip. You guys should see Kelley when she thinks nobody's looking. She gets this sorta cartoon-ish kicked-puppy look and stares at the tattoo she got over the summer."

"Didn't they get theirs together?" Tobin asked. She switched out the record on the record player so it plays AC/DC instead of Mozart and grinned at Alex's scowl.

"Yeah. I still can't believe she got a tattoo of a squirrel."

"Well I can't believe she's working this hard to become a squirrel when the rest of us get to turn into horses and wolves and owls and foxes," Tobin said.

"Never really thought of Kelley as the sentimental type," Julie said.

"She keeps a lot in," Alex replied quietly. "So what are we gonna do about it?"

"Oh? I thought you were the one who wanted them to deal with it on their own," Tobin said, surprised.

"I was, and then they fucked up. Now it's my turn," Alex said, with a forceful determination in her voice.

Julie laughed. "Never been this happy that you're a Slytherin, Alex."

"So I was thinking we just lock them down here until they talk." Alex spread her arms and looked between her friends, waiting for one of them to disagree.

"I'm pretty sure that's illegal. I don't know exactly what about it is, but something in there is not right," Tobin said. "And look, I'm all for that whole 'Everything is legal if you don't get caught' thing, but I think they might kill us after we let them out."

"Alright Tobs, I love you, okay? I really do, but right now, it's time for the Hufflepuff to shut the fuck up, because time's run out for the happy nice plans, and I, for one, am not letting my best friends finish their last year of school together hating each other. That's not fucking happening, so here's what we're going to do."

~~~~~

When Kelley saw a mop of black hair poking out over the couch, she was ready to jet it back up the ladder. But when that mop stood up, she relaxed. "Channing. Shit, you almost gave me a heart attack," Kelley grinned. "Did you ask JJ to get me down here?"

"Yeah, sorry, I heard about your conversation with Tobin and I didn't think you'd be too eager to have the same one again."

"You were right," she said, noticably less enthusiastic to talk with Channing. She shuffled over to her favorite chair, the same one she got wasted in almost three weeks ago. Her body sunk into the seat and she had a moment of temporary bliss. "So what's your argument?"

"Sounds like you've already heard a few."

"Oh yeah." Kelley sighed, rubbing her face.

"So you've already heard that shpiel about being the bigger person and talking it out and everything?"

"Ah yes, Tobin's second try. I think that one was my favorite."

Channing chuckled. "Fine. Honestly Kelley, I just wanted to tell you how much this is crushing Christen. She's never been able to conquer her fears like other people and it's really weighing on her."

"Sorry, but there isn't much I can do about that. It's sort of a mountain she has to climb herself."

"Yeah, but you help her start. Give her another chance, let her talk. Please," Channing begged.

Kelley sighed. "For a fourteen year old, you're holding yourself up pretty well."

"I wrote it down." Channing flashed a small square of paper from her lap. "My sister loves you, and yeah this a little bit of a rocky start, but I promise things'll get a whole lot better if you just take the time to figure it out. Just think about it, please."

Channing sighed and got up, bade farewell and climbed up the ladder. Kelley stayed where she was sitting.

~~~~~

Christen didn't know Kelley was in the dorms. She didn't expect to walk through the door and be face-to-face with the person she's been avoiding for three weeks. But she is, and it's the most tense and uncomfortable moment of her life. More than when she's fighting with her parents and more than when she told her old, conservative grandma and grandpa that she's not as straight as they think, because the stakes are higher here. Much, much higher.

"Are we doing this? Because if we are, I need to go do something." Kelley quickly tossed open the lid to the trunk that was on her bed and hopped inside. Christen was so startled she jumped back because it didn't seem like she even touched the ladder. But within thirty seconds she was back, wiping a suspicious liquid from her lips. "Sorry, I know you guys are iffy about me drinking now, but that shit's not called liquid courage for nothing."

"'Courage'. I could use some of that," Christen chuckled nervously. The comment left Kelley speechless as she became conflicted on how to respond. "I'm sorry. I hurt you. I didn't mean to...I didn't go into that conversation with that intention."

"Then why did you?" Kelley asked.

"The first time I thought that continuing would end up hurting our friendship in the long-run, and I thought that I'd rather have your friendship in five years than some memories. And then I thought, 'fuck it, life's too short for that', because every day my stupid crush grew. But when things started happening for real, I got scared," Christen confessed.

Kelley scoffed and threw up her hands. "What? What is so damning about me that everyone is avoiding? What could possibly be so awful that you literally run away from me?"

Internal stress painted itself on Christen's face. She didn't want to say what she was thinking. Nobody wanted to hurt her feelings.

"Well I...I-"

"What? Seriously, just tell me. I can take it."

Christen thought for a second. "I watched you screw up so many relationships. I watched you sleep with and break the hearts of so many of our classmates, and the ones that went further than that all eventually imploded because of you," Christen whispered. She fought back the tears that threatened to show themselves because for once she doesn't want to succumb to the emotions inside. Regardless, the look of quiet distressed upheaval on Kelley's face made her want to crumble inside. "And the reason they implode is because you refuse to divert your attention from magic.

"You've always had an obsession with magic. From day one, you were so enthusiastic. That's why we do all these projects and why we have the Trunk and why you basically had a table reserved for you in the library for six years before it. And then when it came time for relationships, you just couldn't rip yourself away. And I watched it happen, but never did I think I'd be in the same position as them. So don't ask me why I was so afraid to be with you, because this whole thing has been so apparent for years and you never even knew it."

There was a screaming silence. Kelley's mouth dropped slightly, flabbergasted. Immediately, after Christen finished talking, she was unsure of whether or not she should have said anything at all. But it's too late to have second thoughts. Hell, she barely had first thoughts.

Kelley closed her mouth with disgruntled insult. "You think you know me?" she said, dangerously quiet. "You think you have me all figured out? 'Cause you don't.

"Yeah, maybe I've slept around a little, and yeah I've broken a couple hearts. But you know what the funny thing is though? I kinda knew I was doing it while I was doing it. I kept telling myself that I needed to see my girlfriend and that I should get my ass out of the library or stop playing Quidditch and make an effort. But I just couldn't, because I knew in my heart that they just weren't as important to me than magic was. I guess what I'm saying is that I just didn't like them enough, or as much as they liked me, and that might sound callous, but it's the truth. And then you came into view and I realized that all those other boring girls wasn't what I wanted. You are.

"And that's where what you said stops being true. You know why it's not true? Because you never stopped focusing on the stuff I did instead of on the stuff I do. You know ever since I realized I liked you, I haven't hooked up anyone? Shit, Christen, I barely _looked_ at anyone. And every time you needed me, big or small, I was always there for you, because you were one of the few things I think is more important than magic. Didn't notice that, did you? Yeah, I can see it on your face."

Christen suddenly became aware of the lost expression she was making, but she couldn't help but leave it be for a second longer while she thought.

"But enough about me. Let's talk about you," Kelley said darkly. She knew exactly what she had to say, and it's something she's wanted to say for a long time. She also knew that saying it was probably going to change their friendship forever if it doesn't nuke it to oblivion first.

"What about me?" Christen snapped back.

"You're not perfect either, Christen. You, you're..."

"I'm what?" she challenged. For a moment, Kelley felt warm inside as she saw the ferocity she loves. Then the rage returned.

"You're a coward," Kelley finally managed to spit out. "You're too afraid to talk risks and that's fucking up you're life." Christen scoffed. "Look, you come from a great family. You're parents are like the Bill Gates philanthopists of the wizarding world. You're older sister was the—what was it?—'brilliant and clever' winner of the Triwizard Cup three years ago. You're little sister has already made original contributions to the Potions and Transfiguration community and she's still like a fucking baby. You're top of our class and one of the best Quidditch players in the school, but if there's one thing that they all have on you, it's that they're willing to step outside the comfort zone to achieve their goals, and you're not.

"And you're never going to change either. I've known you for almost seven years now, and you're still the scared, under-confident weakling I met in first-year."

Christen swallowed the lump in her throat and blinked back the tears in her eyes. She was determined at least not to look as hurt as she is inside. "So what, we're talking about fear now? Because you have you're own. You can put up your whole Kelley O'Hara, biggest, boldest badass in school act, but I've seen you when you don't have your mask on. I see that look on your face when you get letters from home. They're from your mom and your sister, right? Asking you to come home? Why haven't you written back yet, Kelley? What are _you_ so afraid of?" Christen spat. Her voice trembled and became strained under the stress of it all. "Have you even read them?"

For the first time, Kelley let her exterior betray her interior, and her interior was a seething ball of rage and insult. Christen crossed a line. Christen crossed _the_ line. "I read every single one."

Kelley threw open the door and stormed down the stairs. Christen jumped at the impact and closed her eyes. She couldn't keep the tears back anymore.

~~~~~

Kelley knew. She just came out of the Trunk and when she opened the door to the dorm, she heard someone coming up the stairs. She recognized the speed and pattern and the heaviness of each footstep. It was Christen.

She had made a split-second decision. Kelley closed the door and stood a few feet back. Her eyes flash back to the beat up trunk sitting on her bed. It would be so easy to just slip back in, and if she's not actively in the room she knows Christen won't pursue her.

The door opened and Christen stood in the threshhold. They made eye contact for the first time in weeks. Kelley couldn't help but stare for a second.

 

 

Maybe she shouldn't have said all that. Maybe she shouldn't have made the fight that personal, but she did, and there's no turning back now. In a few hours, days, she might regret it though.

The next day she passed Channing in the hallway and she grabbed her elbow. Amidst the masses of people rushing around them, Kelley could still hear Channing growl, "What happened?"

"We talked. Just like you wanted."

 


	3. Lightning Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Step 3.  
> Consume Mandrake Leaf potion during a lightning storm.

It's December, which means Quidditch is over for a while. The weather is getting blustery and snow cakes the ground in layers. It's dangerous to be on a broom, and it's made Kelley quite sad(on top of everything else) because although she can spend hours studying and distracting herself from herself, Quidditch is what hade her feel _free_. It was just something about the wind rushing past her face and freezing her ears, and the air somehow breathed fresher hundreds of feet up, not to mention the beautiful scenery decorating the landscape around Hogwarts. The thunderstorms that cloud her mind clear up, and right now she really needed that.

Quidditch being over also meant she doesn't have to see and possibly talk to Christen four times a week, but she couldn't quite tell if that was a pro or con.

Dressed in a hat, gloves, and many layers under her robes, Kelley melted away a patch of grass and pulled out the soccer ball she brought from Georgia. She's always kept up her skills through school, learning and growing with her friends, albeit at a slower pace than the other sport in their lives. Alex and Christen didn't know how to play at first, but they picked it up fast and became rather proficient.

She didn't like how her fight with Christen makes her feel. She wants to be mad, and only mad. She was accused of being someone Christen knows she's not, and Christen should know more than anyone how broken up she is about it. She should be so offended her organs should melt by the sheer fervor of it. But she's not. Her emotions are being split between rage and yearning, because even though she's spent a fair amount of time anger-crying and destroying everything in the Trunk, putting it back together, and then repeating, she still knows that she wants to be close to Christen.

Not emotionally close, she already got that years ago. No, she wants to be physically close to her. She wants to feel Christen's body expand and contract when she falls asleep on her while playing board games late at night. She wants to hold her hand for warmth on cold trips to Hogsmeade. She wants to spend all night together in the common room practicing charms for finals, eventually collapsing from exhaustion in front of the fireplace.

The soccer ball tapped plastically against her sneakers. Kelley's always liked that sound, but she'll always prefer a more worn ball.

She kicked it up with the top of her foot and watched it rebound up. Quickly, she switched feet to keep the juggle going, but the ball never came down. Kelley scoffed. "It's cold. You guys should go inside."

"Whatever, pain is just a mental construct anyway," Tobin said, waving her off.

"No, T, I really don't think that's how it works," Alex stammered, confused and she tried to think it out.

"Nah, you guys just need to get on my level. Shut off those pain recepters, become one with the trees." Tobin placed her palms together and closed her eyes like she was meditating. It lasted for a couple seconds, then Julie snorted and Tobin and Alex couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Can we stop with this whole 'funny banter before serious conversation' routine? I'm not in the mood," Kelley mumbled. She kicked the ball up out of the air and held it at her hip, scratching nervously at a seam with her thumb.

"Alright, so then do you want to explain to us why Chris was crying into her cereal this morning?" Julie said.

Kelley sucked in a fast breath through her teeth. "I plead the fifth."

"This isn't America. Scotland doesn't have a fifth."

"Then I plead the universal amendment of fuck you and fuck off."

"Kelley!" Alex exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she relented. A pregnant, empty pause. "We talked last night. It didn't go well."

"What happened?" Tobin asked.

"I said something deeply offensive to her, she said something deeply offensive to me, it was a whole party," Kelley said. She clenched her jaw and dug her fingernails in the palms of her hands, upset just thinking about it.

"Like what?"

Kelley felt a distressed rock in her gut as she tried to figure out how to respond. "Well I called her a coward, and she called me a heartless bitch in a way that makes me so pissed I could die and my body would cremate itself."

"What? What does that mean?" Tobin asked.

"It means she crossed the fucking line, Tobin!" Kelley snapped. She could see the shock and concern on their faces, and the gears turning in their heads. She also found herself not caring. "She..." Kelley scoffed. "Goddamn it." She laughed hollowly, finding it absolutely absurd how she couldn't get the words out of her mouth.

"Kelley, are you okay?" Julie said softly. "How much sleep did you get last night?"

"Do you really want to know?" A pained sigh escaped, and her next breath in cracked in her throat. "So last August I got into a fight with my dad about my magic. He called me a freak of nature, I called him the shittiest father I could've gotten, as you do. In the middle of the night I Apparated to the nearest Floo office and then kept porting across the country until I got to Cali, and then Apparated again to Christen's house. Those letters I've been getting are from my mom and my sister. Jerry's been pretty quiet though. He's always been afraid of disappointing Dear Old Dad.

"Magic is ripping me away from my family. It has been for years. I'm the only one with magic in my blood, and now it's been almost seven years and I can't ignore it anymore. I'm different, and it's ostracised me from the people I love most.

"I mean, fuck, guys. Do you know what that's like? I'm a witch-it's who I am, and it's also why I feel like I can't go home for Christmas this year. This is like them kicking me out for being gay, which you know, I kinda think they wanted to do too. I can't even respond to their letters, because all they want is to know is if I'm okay, and I'm not. They want me to come home and I can't. I can't fucking go home."

Kelley tasted a salty liquid at the edges of her mouth and feverishly wiped it away. She didn't even know she was crying.

"Oh, Kelley," Tobin whispered. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"'Cause it's fucking embarrassing, Tobin! We're all magical, and yet my family is the only one that's weak enough to let it get in the way of our relationships. It's unfair and bullshit, and none of you would've understood anyway."

"So then how did Christen...?" Alex said.

"After I called her a coward, she asked me what I was scared of, and then brought up this. She asked me if had read their letters or cared since I never mentioned them, because I apparently put magic above all else in my life." She scoffed. "The fucking audacity. She knows more than anyone in the world how shit this has been for me, and she still said it."

Kelley shook her head and ran her hands through her hair and face. A pair of arms wrapped around her, soon joined by two others. They sat up against the castle walls together, questions looming but none being asked.

~~~~~

Christen's ear twitched. Whispering from a table two rows behind her distracted her from the Transfiguration lesson. The ink on her parchment was becoming more and more thick and clumsy as irritation forced her fingers to tighten up. Her nose crinkled up as a particularly splotchy ink stain blotted out half her word to an indeciferable extent.

Relief flooded her senses when the professor announced time to practice individually. Sitting on the desk in front of her was a cage with a somewhat large rat, which she needed to transform into a dove. Christen sighed and picked up her wand. She wasn't as much of a natural as Kelley or Alex, so she needs to work harder to get results and usually that comes with certainstresses.

Just as she was about to do her first attempt, the empty chair next to her slid out and became occupied. "This seat taken?"

It was Micheal Franklin, one of the boys who was whispering earlier. He embodies the arrogant Gryffindoor stereotype. Julie's always said she wants to punch him in the face, which is saying a lot more about him than her.

"Uh, no."

"Cool." He put his caged rat on the table and they were quiet for a while except for their mumbled spells and frustation-born curses. Christen managed to do it once, but upon reverting it back to a rat to practice, she couldn't do it again.

Christen felt a little uncomfortable sitting next to him, seeing as how he wears his fuckboy-ness on his sleeve. He looks like it too: his hair is styled carefully to look like he just rolled out of bed like that and his tie hangs loosely around his neck with the top button undone. He just needs a cigarette hanging off his lip to complete the look. "Hey Press, do you think you can help me with this?"

"Sure," she said hesitantly. "Could you try it for me once please?"

"Yeah." Michael performed the spell and sighed when the rat did nothing but twitch it's nose.

"I think you're putting the emphasis on the wrong part of the words. And your wand arc is too wide, it needs to be tight and agressive, you know?"

"Yeah, yeah." Michael tried again and got better results: the rat turned white and sprouted mini wings. "Alright! Thanks, Press."

"You're welcome," she said, hoping she was giving off the right signals to tell him she wasn't interested in conversation. Obviously, he didn't take the hint because her stretched out in his chair with a haughty smirk, then crossed his arms to emphasize his care-free demeanor.

"So you dating anyone right now Press?" he said.

She held back a groan. "Not at the moment, no."

"Well my girlfriend's bi. Olivia Bates, you know her? Her and I've always wanted to try...it, if you know what I mean. You interested?" Michael wiggled his eyebrows and let his eyes roam to certain areas of her body.

Christen huffed. Disgust very involuntarily painted itself on her face and she tightened her grip on her wand until her knuckles turned white and shook. "Despite the countless flattering things that implies, I'd have say no. I don't swing your way, Franklin."

"You're a lesbian?" Michael said. "That's okay. I like to watch too."

"Is there anything else I can help you with or can you just leave me the fuck alone already?" Christen snapped, venom rolling off her tongue.

Daniel whistled. "Got some bite, do you Press?" He scoffed. "But yeah, I could use a blowy, think you could help with that?" He put his hand on her thigh and squeezed it.

"Alright, that's it," someone said behind her. A series noises from of a chair squeeking and rattling against the floorbloards came from. Suddenly, Michael head blew up like a balloon and his teeth grew at a grotesquely alarming rate.

Julie Johnston stood boldy from her desk with her wand out three rows back. Oddly, she looked confused.

It caught the classes attention and they all looked to her, and kept on looking while she argued with the professor over the detention she attained. Nobody noticed Kelley in the corner with her wand held under the table, still pointed at Michael Frankin.

 

Later, Julie caught up with Kelley in the hallway. "Hey Kell. That sure was something with Christen earlier, wasn't it? But you know, I noticed something weird. I only casted the head hex. No idea where the teeth came from. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

"Course not, JJ. You know I'm not one for that sort of stuff," Kelley said. They made eye contact and she grinned and they both knew she absolutely was.

Julie stepped out in front of her to stop her. "Kelley, come on."

Kelley scowled. "Look, I saw Franklin put his hand on her thigh, and you can't expect me not to do anything about that. It doesn't matter what's going on between us, nobody deserves that prick."

"So does that mean things are looking up?" Julie said hopefully.

Kelley sighed. "I don't know, Julie. I'm sorry, I know you guys want things to go back to how they were but I just don't know right now," she said gently. She walked past Julie to get to Potions before next bell, leaving her friend living in the aftermath of optimistic bliss.

~~~~~

Alex turned the page on her textbook and stared at it mock-thoughtfully. Like Muggle high schools, the last year of school really doesn't matter too much, and Alex wasn't in the business of putting effort into a pointless endeavor. That being said, teachers don't like it when students waste study-hall time, so now she was left to "work".

A small piece of parchment was flung on top of her books.

**You're not actually doing anything, are you?**

Alex glanced up at Christen sitting across from her, then dipped her quill in her ink and wrote back.

_Of course I am. I'm writing the Charms essay_

Alex tossed back the parchment and held up a crude, rather unflattering drawing of their Charms professor. Christen snorted and looked around at the adults tasked with monitoring them, fearful that she had attracted someone's attention.

**I'm bored**

_Do you want to leave?_

Christen thought for a second and nodded, pushing all her fears down deep inside her. Kelley was right. She is too afraid, and she needs to take initiative and change. Baby steps though.

They each went to different professor to ask to go to the bathroom and Alex led them up to the third floor prefects bathroom.

"Won't they notice when we're gone for a long time?" Christen said.

"Nope. I've been doing this for years and nobody's said a thing," Alex said. She closed her eyes and breathed in the air of bathroom. It smelled vaguely of cleaning product and lemon, but at least it wasn't the stench 60 other pubescent teenagers. "We could do literally anything. We can take a bath if we want," she suggested. It was a joke of course, but after a moment of consideration, she pointed her wand at the swimming-pool sized bath and all the knobs turned at once to fill it. When the water reached a sufficient height, they turned themselves off and Alex, while sustaining complete eye-contact with Christen, allowed herself to fall into the bubbles.

"I can't believe you just did that," Christen chuckled, arms crossed and looking down at her friend swimming in the bath.

"Come on Christen! I know the dry-clothes spell. We can leave in like, fifteen minutes. Just take a little dive with me!" Alex laughed. Christen rolled her eyes and stripped off her shoes, socks and tie, and hopped into the luke-warm waters. She had to admit, it felt pretty nice. For just these few minutes, her muscles relaxed and her stress melted away. Alex conjured some pool rafts and they floated around for a while, enjoying the moment.

"So I have a question that you probably don't want to answer, but humor me anyway," Alex said.

"Okay," Christen said hesitantly.

"Do you think you and Kelley can fix things between you guys?"

Christen sighed. "I don't know. I mean. I really think I fucked it. I said something terrible to her and she said something kind of terrible to me, so..." she shrugged, feeling considerably less joyous than she did a few seconds ago.

"But do you want to?"

"Yeah, of course I do. Fuck, Alex, I miss her so much. I don't know what to do with my time anymore without her there. It's been a month and a half now and I still don't know, and I'll be totally lost if it stays like this." Christen sighed and shook her head. Alex didn't even need to look to know that she was almost crying.

"It's okay. Everything's going to be okay."

"I hope so."

"Me too."

Alex bit her lip and got lost in her thoughts. After hearing this information, she had some stuff she needs to do.

~~~~~

Kelley couldn't believe it. She couldn't believe what she's seeing. She knew it was possible, but never did she think this would happen.

She looked down at her wand like it was somehow its fault, but she know it's not. Dumbstruck, she stared at the thing that had just erupted out of the tip of her wand. Her mouth seems like it can't close, not that it would ever occur to her in her current state to close it.

The hatch above her opened and Kelley sprung forward and swiped manically at the thing, desperate to get it to go away before whoever it was that was coming into the Trunk got down the ladder.

"Kelley? What are you doing?" Alex said. Kelley stopped swinging her arms around as it had mostly dissipated, but the shock was still left over in her system. So shocked that she couldn't stop staring at the spot that it once was.

"No-nothing," Kelley stammered.

Alex raised an eyebrow. "God, you're so fucking weird," she mumbled. Alex tumbled over the back of the couch and Kelley gingerly sat back down on the recliner, hands covering her mouth and eyes wide as marbles. "Seriously, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine." Kelley waved her off and took a deep breath. "Just, uh, you know, stuff," she stuttered, looking upset and shaken. She motioned to a letter on the table in front of her.

Alex couldn't see much of the contents, but the bottom flap of paper was flicked up just enough to show that it was signed off _Mom_. "Oh. I'm sorry, Kelley."

"Yeah, me too." She sighed.

Alex pursed her lips, sad that her friend was so utterly distraught and there's nothing she could do to help. "Christmas break is in a couple weeks. Are you gonna go home?" she said softly.

"I don't know. I don't know where I'll go or who I'll be with. Maybe I'll stay here," she chuckled miserably, unable to comprehend the absurdly stark difference between her in first-year and her now. She used to love going home for the holidays, but every year that was chipped away little by little until it was shattered over the summer.

"Nope. You're not doing that," Alex said immediately. "Look, even if you don't go home, you're still welcome at any of our homes for the break."

"No, I-I can't." Kelley shook her head.

"Yes, you can. I'll go to Georgia and kidnap you myself if I have to. Hoping it won't come to that, but I will if I have to."

Kelley cracked a smile. "Thanks, but I don't think _all_ of you would want me over."

Alex sighed. "When are you guys gonna patch things up?" Kelley shrugged. "You know it's gonna get a lot harder if you wait until we come back. Come on, what are you waiting for?"

"Alex, it's fucking hard. She said some things, I said some things, and I don't know what the next move is supposed to be."

"Well don't you want to?"

"Of course I want to!" Kelley exclaimed. "She's my best friend, Alex, and she's...you know. It's fucking awful what's happening between us and there is nothing I want more than for it all to go away, but it can't. I'm still pissed and I'm sure she is too." Kelley curled up in her seat, a pit in her throat and stomach. She wanted to cry. "I'm sorry. I know how hard this is for all of you too."

"Don't worry about us, Kelley. Just focus on yourself," Alex said. She awkwardly patted her knee and left. A twinge on guilt pinged in her brain when she climbed up the ladder, but she knew that Kelley doesn't really want to be around anyone right now.

Kelley waited a few seconds after the lid on the Trunk closed before moving. She made a grab at her wand and casted the same spell she did before Alex had arrived.

Kelley was reading her letter. The last letter to be sent before Christmas. Her mother really wanted her to come home, and she knows that the damage would be permanent if she didn't. It made her sadder than all the others had. So she casted a Patronus to raise her spirits, a physical manifestation of happiness.

She thought of the same memory she always does. Her and Christen riding rollercoasters together at an amusement park in New Jersey when they were visiting Tobin.

Kelley was expecting a squirrel to come out of her wand like it always does. Instead, an owl flew out.

It's always said that Patronuses can change when one falls in love.

Funny how it takes the absence of thr most important person in the world to realize just how much they matter.

~~~~~

"Fucking finals. Fucking school. Fuck me," Alex hissed. She threw her quill down on her textbook and ran her fingers violently through her hair. First term finals are always a fun time for everyone. "I'm done, fuck this." Around her, people turned and stared, some even gathering the nerve to shush her, and Alex realized how loud she was. It was a library after all.

Julie chuckled. "Aw, is our big bad Slytherin calling it quits? Took longer than I thought."

Alex glared at her. "Fuck off Gryffindor, I'll still do better than you."

"Yeah, probably. It's okay, I'll still win the Cup." Very early on, Julie and Alex had taken it upon themselves to poke fun at the old Slytherin-Gryffindor rivalry. They compete on everything, from racing each other to the lake to Quidditch match scores. A lot of fun for two highly competitive individuals, but extremely irritating to everyone else. They like to see it as a happy bonus.

"Shut up, yeah? It's finals week and every one is stressed," Tobin snapped. "This shit was supposed to die with that noseless dick anyway."

"Oh, it's never gonna die Tobs. It'll live on, forever and always." Julie smirked.

"Yep," Alex said. "And hey, looks like I'm still doing better than Chris over here." Alex nodded at Christen, sound asleep on top of her numerous study guides, papers, and books.

"Yeah, she had a rough night last night," Tobin said. She reached over and gently shook Christen's elbow. "Chris, hey, wake up, come on," she whispered. Christen shifted slightly, but had no intention of anything more. Alex cocked her head to the side slightly as an idea popped into her head.

"Christen, you should go to the Trunk and take a nap. Regain some energy," Alex suggested.

"No, I have to...to..." Christen mumbled, but never finished her sentence.

"Let's go, I'll walk with you." Alex softly gripped her arm and led her out of the library. She returned ten minutes later.

In another hour Alex got up again. "Do you guys know where Kelley is?"

"She should be in the Great Hall. Ravenclaws have that mass study session in there, remember?" Tobin said. Alex nodded and went in search of her friend.

She found her sitting amongst a group of Seventh Years. "Kelley, can you come help me find something in the...place?" Alex said, catching herself before possibly exposing their secret(one of them).

"Can't you do it yourself?" Kelley groaned.

"I looked and I couldn't find it."

Kelley sighed. "Fine."

They trudged up to the Ravenclaw tower, tired from days of endless studying. Alex pulled the Trunk out from under Christen's bed, and gestured for Kelley to go down first.

Kelley placed both her feet on either side of the ladder and slid down quickly. She looked up, expecting to see Alex coming down too. Instead, a box of saltine crackers was dropped to her hands with a note attached.

**We'll open the door when you figure out your shit**

Instructions followed on how to contact them afterwards.

"You gotta be kidding," Kelley growled.

The lid on the Trunk was slammed shut and the latches flipped into place. The sound boomed and Kelley jerked her head to the side, combing the room for any sign of another person.

Then she saw it. Movement. Rustled noises.

Christen.

~~~~~

Alex performed all the enchantments she could think of on the Trunk to stop it from opening. Nothing other than physically flicking the latches out of place and opening the lid will do the job.

She took a step back and stared at the Trunk. Maybe this stepping over a line. Is she starting something else entirely? Possibly, but she's already made a decision, and there's no going back now.

Running down to the library to grab Tobin and Julie, anxiety over her choice festered within her. On the way back, she began to explain what happened. "So do you guys remember that idea I had a while ago? The one Tobin called illegal and immoral or whatever?"

"Yeah?" Tobin said. Then it hit her. "Alex, you didn't."

"I might've." Alex pulled away the curtain to Christen's four-poster, revealing the Trunk.

"Oh my God."

"Alex, what the fuck? We have to let them out!" Julie cried.

"No! Do you really want this to bleed into next year? We can't let that happen."

"It-it's kidnapping, Al," Tobin said, conviction lost as she started to think about it. They're already in there so there's no stopping it. Not any use in opening the door now.

"Look, the reason we've all stayed friends for seven years is because we always called each other out on our shit. And yeah, maybe half of us are still asshats at the end of it, but we are asshats who love each other, and asshats who love each other don't let important relationships die when they can be saved."

"This is overstepping. We can't go through with this," Julie said.

"Why not? Kelley and Christen have both spent a lot of time in the past keeping this group together, and now it's our turn."

"How do you even know this'll work?" Tobin asked her.

"I've heard both of them say that they miss each other! They just need a little push to start the conversation is all. Have some faith Tobs, I got this."

Tobin sighed and made a face. "Fine. But when they come out pissed as hell, you're taking the blame."

"Fine by me." Tobin and Julie climbed onto Christen's bed with Alex and sat around the Trunk, pulling the curtains behind them.

Caught up in the drama of it all, they completely missed the lightning storm brewing in the sky above their heads.

~~~~~

Kelley couldn't stop staring at the Trunk door, hoping, _needing_ it to open. Her heart pounded faster and faster.

She's not ready for this.

Christen shifted on the couch. She still doesn't know Kelley is standing there. "Hello? Is anyone there?" she called out. Kelley swallowed and closed her eyes. "Oh."

Kelley bit her lip and tossed the crackers and note to her. "I'm gonna fucking kill Alex," she muttered to herself. She bypassed her favorite recliner and sat on the floor, careful to place herself where she knew Christen couldn't see her and she couldn't see Christen.

Her facial expression was neutral, but leaning more towards immensely upset. She tried to slow down her heartbeat, feeling it in her head. Breathe in for eight beats, out for eight beats. In, out, in, out.

It may help focus her thoughts, but does nothing for the anxiety in her system.

Mercury prowled around the recliner perched himself on her lap. Perhaps he could sense the panic seeping from every pore in her body.

The record player in the corner skipped and started playing "I Want You Back" by Jackson 5. Through it all, Kelley had to stifle a snort and thrusted her wand at the record player. The tone arm flew off the record, perhaps too forcefully, and landed, skewed and broken, to the side.

Christen isn't doing much better. She curled up on the couch, not even trying to control herself or stop the nervous breakdown threatening her sanity. Kelley O'Hara is sitting not fifteen feet away, and like last time, it was not the circumstances she had imagined. Actually, she hadn't imagined it all. What she would say, yes, but not when she would say it.

Both of them had their wands, but neither ever made an attempt to leave. As uncomfortable as this was, they knew they shouldn't.

They stayed like that, silence being the only wall between them and and their biggest fears: losing each other. The worst case scenario, maybe, but after last time they couldn't help but think it would happen again.

Minutes passed. Ten, twenty, a half hour. Both afraid to move to break the noiseless and, in a way, peaceful bubble, fragile in its ways.

Kelley perked up her head after seeing something in her peripherals. A shimmery silvery-blue horse cantered through the ceiling, stopping in the corner. Alex's Patronus.

It opened its mouth like a human would to talk, projecting Alex's raspy voice. "Sorry guys, unforseen circumstances. Lightning storm forming, and you know what that means. Estimated to start in about fifteen minutes, and supposed to be short. Motivation, I guess."

The horse(or Seabiscuit as they are prone to calling it) dissipated. Kelley sighed deeply. On any other occasion, she would be overjoyed. Now, not so much.

"So I was thinking about going to Sweden after school. For Quidditch," Christen said. Kelley blinked a couple times. She was surprised Christen was the one to say the first word.

"Really? You go to the US, your chances with the national team are way higher than you playing in Europe."

"I know, but I got a lot of time to play in the US."

"National team usually looks for younger players. Couple seasons in Sweden might cost you."

"Maybe, but Sweden's a great opportunity. Great experience."

"It's the unknown. Risky."

"Yeah, but you were right. I need to step outside my comfort zone. The US is safe, it's familiar. Sweden is not." There was a short pause. The conversation had taken them somewhere new. "You know, it'd be cool if I could see you while we talk."

Kelley chuckled softly at her nerve and slowly got up, joints creaking from being frozen for so long. She eased into the recliner and rested her chin on her hand. The edges of her mouth twitched. It felt good to see Christen and look her in the face without feeling the need to immediately turn away. "I'm not sorry for what I said. It was true and you know it," Kelley said.

"Yeah it was. So was what I said. Well, most of it. That last part was out of line, and I'm sorry."

"I know. It's okay," Kelley whispered. She shook her head and scoffed. "This is so stiff, I hate it." Kelley cracked a smile. So did Christen. She broke open the box of crackers and offered one to Christen. "The more I though about what you said, the more I understood your view points. I've done some shitty things to people in the past and I haven't been in a serious, emotionally connected relationship yet because I've trashed all of them before they could get to that point. I think you said it best—I refused to split my time between them and magic." Kelley looked up, making sure to establish eye contact and smirked. "But you know, I'd be more than willing to do that for you."

"Smooth, O'Hara." Christen laughed. "And in the spirit of facing personal flaws, I should say that I-I kind of am a coward."

"No, no, no, I shouldn't have said that."

"I _am_ someone who overthinks and I do let fear put me in a box. I've never violated any rules or taken any risks. I always thought 'What if we get caught?' or 'What if we die?'. What if? And you know what I learned? It's boring. And I don't want my life to ruled by that anymore. I..." Christen trailed off. She took a deep breath. "It's always been who I am. It's not anxiety or anything, it's just me. I'm small, quiet. Under-confident. And you know, I kinda hate that. I Maybe that's why I liked you so much, because you never were. But not anymore. I want to stand up straight, for the the first time ever," Christen said. Even now, barely having done anything to move towards her goal, verballizing it made her feel better. Now it's final.

Kelley beamed. She's glad Christen is trying to become who she wants to be. "That's great Christen."

"I guess so," Christen said quietly. Then she made a face and smiled sardonically at herself. "Nope. It is great. Confidence," she reasserted with an exagerated solidness to her tone. Kelley chuckled. "What? I'm taking baby steps."

"Baby steps?"

"Yeah, baby steps O'Hara, don't judge me." Christen mock scowled, but felt an uncontrollable need to smile. She missed this a lot, and it's been so long since she felt that It's like a high, but better. Much, much better. "What about you? Are you going to take baby steps?"

"To what?"

"Oh God, so many things I could answer that with," she quiped playfully. "But I was really thinking about your family. I saw your name on the sign up to stay here over break."

"Yeah, I put it on there just in case. Deadline was yesterday, and I can take it off whenever I want. I'm still undecided," Kelley confessed.

"I think you should go. I've heard nothing good about familial estrangement," Christen said, trying to add a lighter touch to a conversation that could turn sad fast.

"Chris, this isn't a baby step, it's a half-fucking-marathon."

"Yeah, and some people run full marathons, so what? Just head home, work out your issues. And if they don't go well then come to my house again. My parents love you, you know."

"It's not that easy."

"Course it isn't, why should it be? Nothing worth it is easy, and if it is it's probably not worth it."

Kelley scoffed, but didn't have the heart to keep arguing with her about this, knowing she just wants her to be happy. "I'll take that into consideration."

"Okay," Christen said.

"Okay." Kelley frowned, knowing it was time to get up. She didn't want to.

Kelley sent her Patronus through the ceiling with a message(and a few choice words for Alex). She put her foot on the bottom rung, grasping two more in her hands, then paused. "Before we leave, I just have to know: where are we?" Kelley asked.

"I thought we were good?"

"Yea-yeah, I meant like..."

"Oh. _Oh_ ," Christen said. "Well do you really think we're ready for that?"

Kelley sucked a gulp of air between her teeth, groaning internally. "I want to the answer to that to be yes so much...but I don't think so."

"I know. But we'll get there soon."

"I hope so." Kelley smiled subtly.

A new light light up a rectangle around them. They looked up, and saw Tobin's head pop into their line of sight. "I'd just like to make it clear that I was against this idea."

"I'm sure you were, Tobs," laughed Kelley. She pulled herself up the ladder, soon followed by Christen. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, the cold air of her dorm filling her lungs. She opened her eyes, and looked at Alex. "This time you get a pass because it ended up okay, but if you do that again I'll kill you."

Alex nodded. "Sounds fair."

Above their heads, thunder roared and echoed, sending shivers down their spines. A flash of bright white light sparked outside. Lightning.

"Time to go guys," Julie said, peering out the window.

Kelley grinned and ripped open the door. The day she's been waiting for for over three months. She ran down the stairs, a smile of pure joy on her face. Curious gazes glanced in her direction as she went barging through the common room leading a parade of her similarly behaving friends, manic looks on their faces.

They sprinted through the nearly empty halls, everyone eating dinner or studying for finals. Laughter bounced far off the walls, but Kelley was by far the happiest. They stopped at the supply closet and picked up the box they left their Mandrake Leaf potions in to stew. Each had turned a different florescent color, none of which looked appetizing.

In late December, temperatures were dropping. The rain and wind turned it even colder, but it didn't matter, there was no hesitation when they threw open the castle doors and stepped into the lightning storm.

"Ready guys?" Kelley shouted over the rain. Everyone yelled some sort of affirmation and they counted down together.

"THREE! TWO! ONE!"

A sip later and their vials were empty.

Christen felt a freezing hand intertwine itself with her fingers and squeeze. She squeezed back.

 


	4. Animagus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Step 4.  
> Practice.

Kelley showed up at the Americans-to-Hogwarts rendezvous with big grin on her face and a new T-shirt that said **Fucking** **Magical** with a little unicorn silhouette on it. Nobody wanted to mention it though. They hadn't seen her this happy in a long time.

The grin was well deserved. Everything was turning up for Kelley. She and Christen patched things up, her family had at last settled on semi(ish)-calm waters(albeit after some less calm conversations) and she had a wonderful Christmas. Her sister got her a new shirt, one that she's been wearing for admittedly too long, and she spent a whole week watching Netflix.

And now it's time for Kelley to accomplish her dream(one of them at least). She's been thinking about this for years and her meticulous planning was finally coming to fruition, and she's really, really excited.

Kelley hopped on the train and got into the farthest back cabin she could find. She threw her trunk up on the top rack and planted herself on the booth faster than any of her friends, practically vibrating with energy as she curled up in the corner, back to the window.

"Christ Kelley, what'd you eat?" Alex mumbled.

"Fairy piss and elf jizz," she said readily. The others stopped whatever they were doing and slowly turned to look at her. Perhaps she had too much energy.

"You're a really fucked up person, you know that Kell?" Tobin said.

"Yeah, uh, sorry. But isn't this awesome? We can turn into animals at fucking will!" she said animatedly, waving her arms around in motions with no actual relation to what she was saying.

"Yeah, with a lot of damn work," Tobin murmured.

"Don't act like you were actually planning on doing anything this term, Tobs. The only thing similar between here and American high schools is that nobody does shit their last year."

"Uh, I was planning on doing shit." Christen said, raising her hand. Kelley looked to her with an eyebrow perked up.

"Whether you actually end up doing that is still up for debate, but-"

"What?"

"But, I'm sure it can't be that hard. We can already do this." She pulled out her wand and placed the tip over her heart. She muttered, "Amato animo animato animagus," and felt her body shrink and distort into the small form of a squirrel.

Her friends screamed, starting the couple making out in the cabin across from them. Alex pointed her own wand at Kelley and shakily repeated the spell. They watched the squirrel in the corner of the cabin transform back into Kelley, cackling hysterically.

"Holy shit! Little warning next time?" Tobin yelled.

Kelley shrugged. "Get used to it, because soon we're all gonna be able to do that without the wands."

"God, that was freaky," Alex muttered. They fell into conversation about their breaks, gushing like it wasn't just two weeks they were apart. Christen's dad got her a new broom and Julie got a lot of stuff that doesn't require electricity since Hogwarts' magic interferes with electric fields

A silence fell upon them. They still had a ways to go before getting to Hogwarts. Kelley stared out the window and Christen fiddled with a loose thread on the hem of her sweater. Alex glanced at them and made eye contact with Julie, then jerked her head at the door. "I'm gonna go see Serv," she said, hopping up.

"I'll go say hi to Zach." Julie said, also getting up.

Tobin realized what was happening and stood before formulating what she would say. "I gotta—bye," she said hurriedly, rushing out of the cabin behind the other two.

Kelley stared at the door until it slid shut with an amused smirk. "Subtle."

"They're doing their best," chuckled Christen.

"I'm sure they are."

Christen took note of the positive energy Kelley seemed to be filled with today. "I take it you had a good break?"

"Yeah, yeah I did." Kelley smiled. "My mom was so happy when I showed up she cried. My sister was pretty close. God, I should've written them back months ago. That was such a dick move." Kelley pulled her knees up to her chest and ran her fingers through her hair in distress and guilt. Christen shook her head and moved from her spot to the one next to Kelley so that they were sitting closely next to each other.

"No, I get it. Families are hard and when there's only one person who has magic it complicates things a lot."

"You're telling me," mumbles Kelley.

"But I'm happy you're happy," Christen said. And it was true. Kelley wasn't happy first term. She might've covered it up well but Christen could see through the mirage, even when they weren't talking. Those were the times she felt the most useless. Someone she cared about was in pain and she let her pride and wariness get in the way of comforting her.

"Thanks. You know Chris, I-I don't think I would've went if it wasn't for you."

"No, no, that was all you, I just gave you a little push."

"No," Kelley said. "I was so scared of what would happen. I thought it would be the final nail in the coffin. But you convinced me."

"Well regardless, it's great that you're speaking to them again."

"Yeah, it is," Kelley smiled fondly. "But I'm glad to be back. I missed you."

"Aw, is Hard-Ass O'Hara turning into a sap?" Christen poked her side and Kelley flinched away, banging her head on the window. Christen yelped in shock, hands flying up to her mouth to cover up her laughter.

"God, we're not even at school yet and I'm already being assaulted," Kelley said, feigning hurt.

"Hold on, let me see it." Christen grabbed her head firmly and roughly tilted it forward and the side, acting like she was checking for injuries. "Jesus, that's a lot of blood. Like damn, I didn't even know a tiny person like you even had that much to begin with."

Kelley gently slapped her hands away. "Shut up," she chuckled.

As the train huffed along the tracks, the castle came into view in the distance amidst the winter fog. Kelley usually likes to look out at the scenery, taking in the beauty of the Scottish landscape, but this time she was a bit preoccupied and forgot to watch the trees go by.

~~~~~

"Someone's gonna yell at us," Alex said.

"Let them try. I'm willing to bet that if any of those hags knew we were out here they wouldn't come out anyway. I heard hundred-and-five year olds don't like the cold," Kelley said. She kicked the soccer ball over to Tobin and rubbed her hands together, a futile attempt at heating herself up with gloves on, but it made her feel like she was doing something.

"Is it just me or is this ball deflating the longer we're out here?" Tobin said. She kicked it up to her hands and made an impression with her thumbs, furrowing her brow in confusion.

"No, in the cold, the air molecules slow down and lose energy, and the material of the ball contracts too because cold stuff shrinks and hot stuff expands, so it may look like it's deflated but the molecules are just slowing down and getting closer together," Kelley explained. Tobin and Alex stared at her, mouths slightly agape. "Yeah, I'm a nerd, get over it."

Tobin chest-passed the ball to her and scowled. "You've ruined winter soccer for me, Kell. How does that feel?"

"Pretty damn good if I say so myself." Kelley let the ball slip through her fingers and dropped to the ground behind it. Tobin and Alex sat down as well, forming a tight triangle almost knee to knee.

"So how's Servasco, Al?" Tobin said.

"He's been getting a lot of offers from US teams and he's really excited about it. He sent me like, three letters over break about it and he was so happy." Alex beamed. "How's that French girl you think we don't know about?"

"What?"

"Jesus, that was defensive, are you actually doing it with that French girl, Tobs?" Kelley teased.

Tobin scoffed. "Right, 'cause I'm just some frat boy who wants to dine and dash."

Kelley laughed. "I can't believe you just said that."

"What's a frat boy?" Alex asked. Kelley laughed harder and toppled over on the frost-bitten grass, not even caring that her body temperature feels like it's dropping every second.

"Look, I'm just saying, if you were dating you would've told us, and there's definitely something there, so..." Kelley righted herself and wiped the melted snow from her cheek. The action prickled her skin and she wiggled the muscles around to get rid of the sting

"Shut up." Blood flooded into Tobin's already rosy cheeks and she huffed. "How are you and Chris?"

"There is no me and Chris. We're just catching up lost time right now."

"Okay, let me rephrase: when are you guys gonna stop forcing us to watch this real-time rom-com and just do it already?"

Kelley chuckled. "I'm working on it. That's not an excuse for you to lock me in a room with her!"

Alex shrugged and raised her hands in defense. "It's worked didn't it?"

"I'd like to see you guys together. It'd be like Jim and Pam," Tobin said.

"Me too," Kelley said. "I missed her a lot. Seeing her, talking to her. I forgot how much I liked just being in her presence and now I never want to leave," she whispered. Her line of sight drifted through the solid-white cloudy sky to Ravenclaw tower where she knew Christen is.

"Cute. But I still don't understand what you're waiting for," Alex said.

"Me either."

~~~~~

"I still don't understand why we aren't all doing this together," Christen said. Kelley stepped around her haphazardly, trying desperately not to step on any of her fingers, and slid the curtains on her bed shut for some privacy.

"Because those idiots seem to think that if we get in a room together, we'll just start fucking like rabbits," Kelley said. She settled in, sitting criss-cross-applesauce with a pillow hugged to her chest.

"But we're not going to, right?"

"Do you really have to ask?" Kelley said. "No, of course not. If we were going to fuck, it wouldn't be where three other people could walk in at any moment. Lucky for us, we got our own place that's little more private..." She winked and wiggled her eyebrows. Christen rolled her eyes, taking the pillow clutched in her own arms and slamming it into the side of Kelley's head. But she just laughed and fixed her hair back the way it was.

"Can we just do this, please?" Christen said.

"Okay, okay, okay," Kelley laughed at her well-disguised eagerness and placed her wand in the middle of them, its tip glowing just bright enough to light up their faces without being overwhelming. It was a pleasant atmosphere, capitalized by their pajamas and stress-free Friday night. "So I heard people just sorta think about...t-turning and it happens. Animagusing? Animalifying? Whatever, we can make up a new verb later."

"Okay," Christen chuckled. "I am an owl." She closed her eyes and touched her thumb and forefingers together like she was meditating. "I'm flying. I eat field rats and insects...and squirrels."

"Wow. I'm feeling unsafe. I don't think I can stay here anymore." Kelley said, acting like she was going to get up and leave.

"No, stay!" Christen whined, tugging her shirt back to her. "I need my dinner."

"Well, only 'cause you asked so very nicely." She grinned cheekily. "Alright, we can do this."

"We can do this."

"We are smart, capable, competent women-"

"Who are not going to fuck on this bed."

"Well..."

"I swear to God, Kelley, I'm gonna kick you."

"Fine, okay, we need to concentrate now."

"Okay."

Kelley shifted in her spot like she was flipping a switch within herself and put on her thinking face. "The way I heard, you just gotta visualize it. Just imagine yourself becoming an owl. Your arms turning into wings and your feet into talons, feathers instead if skin," she said while carefully observing Christen facial expressions and movements. It felt wrong, scrutinizing like a scientist, but that soon faded away as she subconsciously shifted her focus to just looking at Christen, and only Christen.

"Don't you have to work on this too?"

"Yeah, but I wanna help you first." Kelley's mouth twinged into a sincere smile, gaze still fixated on her face and watching every detail like it would be the last time she would ever her.

It was becoming apparently obvious to her why her Patronus changed.

"Oh," Christen whispered. Without knowing it, the same look of simplistic wonder flushed her face.

They lived in comfortable silence for a few fleeting seconds while they stared at each other, completely distracted by the intimite moment.

"S-so I need to-" Christen stuttered.

"Yeah. Just, uh, start slow. Don't think of your whole body, just a small part, so pick one," Kelley said, pulling from the mountains of research she did prior to the beginning.

Christen nodded and breathed deeply, slowing down her heatbeat and pushing everything else out of her head. She closed her eyes and did what Kelley said to do, and when she opened them again, her mouth and nose had been replaced by a beak.

Kelley grinned. "You did it!"

Her face morphed back to normal and she smiled back. "I did it!" Christen grabbed Kelley's hands and did a goofy celebratory dance with her.

Kelley felt a glowing sensation inside her, like if she herself had done that.

~~~~~

"This game is fucking rigged," Alex muttered murderously.

"Just some bad luck, Alex," Kelley shook her head and smiled. Alex was almost bankrupt, hanging on by just a few hundred dollars.

"Whose idea was it to play Monopoly anyway?" Christen asked.

"Kelley's," Tobin said. "You know there's a reason we haven't played this in months."

"Yeah, I got a feeling we're about to see that reason in a second," Julie mumbled, bowing her head to hide the smirk on her lips. Alex was notorious for flipping out during board games, especially Monopoly. The others are usually pretty competitive too, but usually they will band together to see that Alex "wins" to keep the peace-unless they've had a bad day, or just feel like it, then all bets are off. And today, Kelley feels like it.

"Shut up, JJ," Alex snapped. She rolled the die and they turned up a five and a three, which landed her on a chance square. Upon reading the contents of the chance card, Alex threw it up in the air, not particularly paying attention to where it went, and a low, growling noise escaped her throat. Tobin picked it up and chuckled, showing it to the group. Alex was in jail—again. "FUCK!"

Kelley stifled a snort and snatched up the die for herself. "Like I said, just some bad luck, Al." She took Christen's hand on the floor in between them and held the die up to her mouth. "Blow for good luck?"

Christen rolled her eyes but blew on them anyway. Across the table, Tobin fake gagged and took a melodramatic glug of water like her life depended on it. Still holding Christen's hand, Kelley flipped off Tobin and let the die fall through her fingers, and a moment later a shout of triumph erupted from her throat. Her mini-battleship moved to the last dark blue square on the board, which means she has them all now. Happily, Kelley forked over the money to buy the square and made a big show of putting it with the others. It was becoming abundantly clear that she was going to win the game.

"Thanks Pressy," Kelley said. She leaned her head on her shoulder, putting most of her weight on Christen, and took her arm in her lap and played with her fingers.

Julie raised her wand and a small shower of red sparks flooded out of the tip. "PDA alert! PDA alert! Stand clear!" she boomed. Christen scowled, but Kelley chuckled and pushed herself upright.

"So are we gonna keep playing or is Alex going to flip the board now?" she said.

Alex let out a disgruntled sigh and shook her head. With a subtle, defeated crinkle in her brow, she dug her fingers under the side of the board and flicked it, enough to send the small plastic pieces tumbling from their spots. "Getting close to curfew anyway," she muttered. They loosely put all the pieces in the right places in the box and shoved it back on the shelf with their other games. Tobin, Alex, and Julie all booked it up the ladder to make it back to their houses before curfew, but Kelley and Christen stayed sitting on the floor for a few minutes, so close they were becoming almost overheated from the contact.

 

A couple hours passed and Christen's eyes opened in the dark. She can't sleep. She's been trying for almost an hour, but no success. Every once in a while though, she would hear something. Paper scratching against one another, the swift swish of a page turning. It could be any one of her dorm mates doing some late night reading, but she knew who it was. Kelley is still awake.

Christen popped her head through the curtains and confirmed her guess; a soft glow illuminated the drapes surrounding Kelley's four-poster. Wordlessly, she crawled through the curtains and splayed herself across the foot of the bed.

Kelley glanced up with a perked eyebrow and grinned. She stuck a bookmark in the spine of her book, some Muggle adventure novel, and tossed it to the side. "No, don't let me get in the way of your book."

"I just finished a chapter anyway. A good place to leave off too," Kelley excused herself. Christen had a feeling she was lying, but didn't mention it. But she will admit that it gave her a feeling of satisfaction inside—made her feel special.

Christen crawled up next to Kelley, enough space on the bed to fit them both comfortably. They intertwined their fingers and stared up at the woodwork of the top frame and the fabric stretched across them. She pointed her wand at the curtains surrounding them and whispered the silencing charm so they could talk without disrupting anybody's sleep. "This is something friends do, right? Hold hands at midnight while we're laying in bed together."

"Totally. Alex and Tobs do it all the time."

"Right. They're completely...platonic friends," Christen said. Her mind trailed back to when they all used to make fun of Tobin and Alex for acting like they were dating all the time. That is, until Alex showed up at dinner with Servando and made out with him in front of basically the whole school. Christen chuckled, remembering the memory. Her mouth had dropped open, but Kelley couldn't stop laughing.

"What? What is it?" Kelley said.

"Nothing." They were an odd group, different from a lot of the others at Hogwarts. Always doing something bold and crazy, often publically without giving a single shit who saw. The gall of one(mostly Kelley) often prompted the others until attention-related inhibitions melted away over time, save for Christen. Looking back, she feels regret, left out even, that she didn't participate. The "fuck it" attitudes her friends adopted never manifested in her and now all the ridiculous times they all shared don't include her.

Kelley glanced over and ran over eyes over her body. "That my sweatshirt, Press?" she said playfully. Christen looked down at herself. Faded lettering reading STAR LABS was written in a faded bold font across the chest.

"Huh. I guess so. Why, you want it back?"

"No, it looks good on you." Even if they knew any sound they made wouldn't be heard, they still spoke in low, hushed whispers. They liked it better that way anyway. It felt more private, personal.

"It's just pajamas."

"Still." The edges of Christens mouth twitched up, mirroring Kelley's.

"So I have a question. I've been thinking about it since that first day we had a...moment," Christen stammered awkwardly.

"Okay." A pang of anxiety hit Kelley in the gut, not too enthusiastic to talk about it. She's trying to move forward, not dwell on the past.

"Who's Barry Allen and Peter Parker?"

"Oh." Kelley giggled, relieved.

"What?"

"No, I-I was just—nothing. Barry Allen and Peter Parker were my favorite superheroes when I was a kid. The Flash and Spiderman."

"What, like guys with super powers beating up bad guys?"

"Yeah. My brother and I used to watch their cartoons on Saturday mornings and read their comics. I dressed up as them, God, at least four Halloweens." Memories of her running around the neighborhood in a Flash onesie popped up, Jerry close on her heels. Christen noticed the look of nostalgia on her face and realized how much these comic book characters mean to her. "Remind me to take you to go see their movies. The logo on that sweatshirt is actually from the Flash's TV show."

"You think I'm like them?"

"Well yeah. I mean, they're not really unique when I say their hardworking and determined and stuff 'cause they're all like that, but they're softer than the other heroes. Kind and nice, like you. They don't draw the line at world crisis, you know like helping people on the street whenever they can. They act like how I'd imagine you would if you were a superhero."

"Wow, uh, thanks Kelley," Christen said. She felt honored, more so that Kelley equates her to people so near to her heart than what she has to say about them. She felt her heart rate rise, thumping in her chest so hard she was sure is Kelley looked at her she'd be able to see it.

Kelley was really enjoying the moment too. Alarm bells rang in her ears, telling her to lean in and kiss her. But she feels like she can't. What if what happens last time happens again? What if she makes Christen uncomfortable?

Movement caught her eye. On her forearm, the black and white squirrel tattoo dashed out from the confines of her t-shirt and perched on an imaginary branch.

Christen chuckled. "What did you name it again?"

"Alvin. It's a stupid movie reference," she added dismissively, suddenly abashed by the name she had picked.

Christen pulled back the sleeve to her sweatshirt and her own tattoo swooped to the forefront. "Aw, I forgot how cute Jaundice is!" Kelley said. Christen nudged her with her elbow.

"Shut up, its name isn't Jaundice." Foggy and Alvin turned to look at each other, seeming communicating with physical motions.

"Shit, I didn't know they could do that," Kelley said, amazed. _They have chemistry, just like us_ she thought about saying. But she bit her tongue and instead took to observing their artificial companions.

"I didn't either."

Soon, Foggy and Alvin retreated back to their original places and they put their arms down, intertwining their fingers again. Both felt sleep pull them closer, but neither wanted to stop the conversation. Kelley did turn off the light from her wand though.

"Tomorrow, do you want to go to Honeydukes with me at the Hogsmeade visit? I need to restock on butterscotch."

"Yeah. I need some stuff too. New inkwells and Chocolate Frogs. We can get them together."

"Yeah...together..." Kelley murmured, almost incomprehensibly, as she drifted off.

~~~~~

A white paper bag was clutched in Kelley's hand, three quarters filled with candy and chocolate. In her backpack was another bag with new quills, ink, and potion store refills. Christen stood next to her, with the same bags, however with less sweets. Snow drifted down and attached themselves to the fibers on their hats and hair.

Kelley turned her head up so she could see the snow falling towards her face and grinned. Her part of Georgia never got snow so the first time she ever saw it was in first-year and she found it to be the most wonderful phenomenon on Earth. That position still hasn't changed.

Back then Christen thought it was childish and irritating. She, Alex, and Julie had never seen snow before either but they weren't being so crazy about it, and for years Christen just thought she should grow up and stop acting like a five-year-old. But now she thinks it's cute how Kelley had retained that energy. Something to admire, really. Some people think that with age should come a calm demeanor and interests. Not Kelley. She still wants to flop into the snow and make a snow angel or a snowman, and it comes with a certain charm.

"So what, we just gonna stand here and freeze our asses off or get lunch?" Christen said. Kelley snapped her head down and looked around that the shops surrounding them.

"Yeah, let's go." They slipped into the Three Broomsticks and into a corner booth. They got lucky because a group just left. A waitress came around and soon a plate of thick fries and two mugs of frothy butterbeer were placed in front of them. "I'll never get used to calling these things 'chips'."

"It's been seven years," Christen chuckled.

"I know, but it's just so wrong." Kelley shuddered theatrically and puckered her mouth like she just ate something sour.

"They're just fries, Kell."

"No, they're tainted now," Kelley said. In spite of her words, she dipped her fry in a cup of ketchup and bit off the tip. Christen raised an eyebrow at her and she shrugged, "Tainted, but delicious. Like Coke Zero. And heroin."

Christen made a face and suppressed her grin. "I feel like those two things are sorta different," she said.

"How so?"

A bell rang at the door as someone walked in. Or rather some people since Alex, Tobin, and Julie stumbled in from the cold, caked in snow from head to toe with a soccer ball tucked under Tobin's arm.

Immediately, distaste flooded Kelley's senses. Obviously, she loved her friends, but right now she was hoping to catch a relaxing day with Christen.

"We should invite them over," Christen said unenthusiastically. A similar sense of unease sat with her too, but she felt like it was the right thing to do.

"Yeah." Kelley pursed her lips then called out their names, waving them over. Tobin saw her and started towards them, but Alex put a hand over her chest and whispered something to her. She made eye contact with Kelley with one eye-brow raised, silently questioning her invitation. Kelley shrugged and made another motion to bring them over.

Tobin and Alex slid into Kelley's side and Julie sat next to Christen. More food was brought, which they dug into before delving into conversation. "So I forgot to ask last night, how's our furry project going for everyone?" Kelley asked.

"Please don't call it that," Julie pleaded quietly.

"Why not?"

"You know why." After a short bout of challenging silence, they both let out a snorting laugh, much to the confusion of the others. Julie shook her head. "I hate you. I can't believe you just equated an Animagus to a furry. You've ruined this whole thing for me." Deep from the depths of her memories, Tobin realized what they were talking about and giggled too.

"What's a furry?" Christen asked.

"You don't want to know," Julie answered, struggling to push her smile away. She turned to Kelley for an answer but just got a silent "no" in return.

"Fucking Muggles," Alex muttered.

"Come on, I had a good question," Kelley said. "How's it going for you guys?"

"Well..." Tobin trailed off. A moment later, a foreign object slowly rubbed up and down Kelley's thigh and when she looked down, it was a fox paw.

Her whole body jumped in shock. "Christ!" Kelley exclaimed. "Bitch."

"I can only do it with my right arm though."

Everyone else traded their varying accomplishments with one another. Alex and Julie both managed to turn their whole heads, but decided against demonstrating it in the pub. Kelley didn't share though. Although it was her idea in the first place, she had almost neglected working on herself in favor of helping Christen, but to her, it was a worthy sacrifice. She was doing much better at a fast rate, not that anybody is surprised. Christen is top of the class in their year, and rightfully so.

Several drinks, and perhaps some special additives to their butterbeer, later, they had become quite drunk. Julie and Alex had staggered away to find Zach and Servando, who they weren't completely positive that either of them were in the village, but left together in search of them anyway. Tobin saw her "friend" at another table and went to embarass herself in the way only she knows how, which left Kelley and Christen alone once again. Not that they minded, but things were quite different when they were drunk.

Christen doesn't drink often(relative to her friends), but when she does it's a grand old show. Depending on how much, she either gets extremely happy, sappy, or sad. Right now, she had gotten herself to somewhere in between the first two.

Kelley had been perfectly content watching her babble about old wizard fairy tales with a dopey smile on her face, having gotten to a point herself where she can't really form cohesive thoughts, just a bit more than tipsy. Not nearly as drunk as her friend, but enough to enjoy the moment.

Kelley was actually quite surprised Christen drank so much. Usually she's sensible and smart, but lately she's thrown all that to the wind and decided to become more like them. More reckless and present-minded, too busy having fun to even consider thinking about the consequences, or even a couple minutes into the future. Kelley likes it a little, if she's being completely honest. Christen has always been on the sidelines and now she's pushing herself to the front without going too far. It's a refreshing change with a healthy balance.

"Kelley?" Christen drawled.

"Yeah?"

"Can I tell you something?"

"What?"

"I really like your face," she giggled as she reached over the table and cupped Kelley's cheek.

Kelley chuckled but didn't stop her. "You're so wasted."

"Maybe, yeah," Christen said. "But I'm having _so_ much fun, and I still really, really, like your face."

"I really like your face too," Kelley confessed loosely.

"Then why aren't we dating?" Christen asked. Her mouth twisted into a frown and she rested her head on her hands, gazing at her friend with an upset drunken stupor.

"Because, Chris, you had some confidence issues, and I had some...sleeping with every gay girl in school issues."

Christen cracked up. "That's right! You were a hoe."

"Yep, I was."

"What about right now?"

"Right now? Well right now, I'm just sort of being a chicken," Kelley admitted hesitantly, words drunkenly spilling from her mouth.

"Well I feel like doing it now."

"Damn, I forgot how ballsy drunk Christen is."

"But why can't we? This is the perfect time. We can walk back to school and go to the Trunk and have some fun." Christen winked comically and giggled uncontrollably at herself.

The idea was tempting, like all bad ideas after roughly five shots, but faint sirens and pesky morals nagged at her and she knew she couldn't. "No, we can't. Not like this."

"Oh," Christen sighed. "I'm sad now."

"Me too. God, me too." Kelley heaved herself up and tugged at the edges of Christen's cloak to get her to stand. "Let's go back to school."

"Okay."

"I promise we'll have our moment some day. Some day soon. I'll make sure of it," Kelley mumbled into her hair as she supported most of her weight while they slowly stumbled out of the pub.

~~~~~

Kelley closed her eyes and hummed to herself quietly, a tune from the theme song of her favorite childhood television show Phinease and Ferb. The arm on the record player had been taken off the record in the corner of the Trunk so it was just her own song being sung in silence.

She shoved everything out of her mind and focused on one single thing. As her next breath slipped through her lips, she felt herself change. When she opened her eyes again, the room around her looked different as the composition of her eyes altered to black, beady droplets. Short, coarse fur covered her body in place of skin and her feet were now paws with sharp claws that latched onto the fibers of the couch she perched on. Mercury hissed and jumped from his spot on the table in surprise, not expecting his owner to suddenly undergo this transformation.

It was only for a few seconds before her body forced itself to switch back. Nevertheless, an accomplished smile painted itself on her face and she immediately looked for approval from the only other person in the room.

Christen frowned and let out a loud, frustrated groan. Not exactly the response Kelley was hoping for. "Why is this so easy for you? What is wrong with me, why can't I do this?" she exclaimed. Kelley chuckled lowly. Maybe it wasn't quite in the form she was looking for, but praise had been interlaced in there, albeit indirectly.

"This is just something that plays to my strengths. Potions are for you because it's so exact and everything, like Muggle sciences. You'd be great at those. But this is a matter of willpower and feeling instead of doing. Plus, I want this so much more than you. I've wanted it since third year, and I think that really helped me along."

"Are you saying I don't have willpower?"

"No! God, no, you have plenty," Kelley added quickly. "But this isn't something that can be studied and copied. You have to feel it inside you, you know? You have let it become a part of you."

"How the hell am I supposed to do that?"

"I dunno, that part is for you to figure out."

Christen sighed and dumped her head in her hands, experiencing a frustration like no other she's felt before. Kelley gets the better of her sometimes, but never has she been this much better. Something bubbled up inside her and she couldn't quite tell if it was admiration or jealosy.

"Come on, stand up with me." Kelley popped up and tugged on her shirtsleeve. "You can do this, okay? Forget all that shit I said before. This isn't about turning into something else, it's about you, and becoming a new part of yourself. Your Animagus is the wild creature of your soul, and you need to tap into that."

"Alright, Hippie O'Hara. Got any other righteous words of wisdom?" Christen said sarcastically.

"Brushing your teeth is overrated. If God wanted us to do that every night He would've given us toothbrush fingers." Kelley's eyes flickered up to meet hers and smiles broke out on both their faces.

"How insightful."

"I know right? I'm awesome." Kelley winked and smirked cockily.

"You're an idiot is what you are."

"I know but that doesn't really have the same ring to it, does it? Now come on, you can do this. Just focus on yourself, but just a little different."

Christen didn't quite know what that meant but she closed her eyes anyway like Kelley did before and took a deep breath. About ten seconds, which felt like eternity, passed before she opened them again and sighed inwardly.

"You're overthinking," Kelley said softly. "This isn't a thought process, it's-"

"Willpower, I know. But I'm not you, Kelley. I don't know how to take something inside and turn it into something outside. Shit, you've been at this for what, three, four days? You're already miles ahead of me. I-I just can't do it."

"You can. I promise you can. Just take a few deep breaths, and clear up your head. Feel your heartbeat slow down."

Christen did so, and never took her eyes off Kelley. The sight of her helped her to reach a spot of tranquility.

"Okay, now just think about this and only this: you want to be, so you are."

"I want to be, so I am," she whispered. "I want to be, so I am."

A moment later, a thick coat of black feathers enveloped her body with white freckles dotting the edges of some, colored like an inverted snowy owl. Wings had taken the place of her arms and razor sharp talons for feet. Piercing, vibrant yellow eyes now looked at the world from a new angle and a small beak poked out, camouflaged by the feathers around it.

It didn't stay long. Christen was back within seconds but the glow of success had still erupted within her. Before Kelley could congratulate her, she rushed forward and kissed her.

It was an impulse decision, which isn't something she does often. But for the first time, she isn't mentally criticizing herself for not thinking first.

It was slow, passionate. Her arms wrapped around Kelley's neck and pulled her closer. She could feel the surprised tension seize up her muscles for a second, but melt away in a second as she leaned in more. Kelley's fingers lingered around her jaw and then snaked around and became entangled in her hair.

"So are we doing this?" Kelley pulled away just far enough to say.

"If you still want to."

"Of course I do." A small grin overtook her mouth as they reconnected. Heat was building up around them from the friction of their limbs and Christen felt like she was burning up but didn't even consider stopping.

For Kelley, it was a dream come true. It felt even better than becoming an Animagus, better than getting perfect scores on exams and finals, and light-years better than when they weren't talking a month ago. Every fiber of her being screamed out for more even though they were touching in every humanly possible way. Nothing else mattered in that moment other than showing Christen how much she loves her.

~~~~~

~~~~~

A black owl soared out of the Forbidden Forest and circled the towers around Hogwarts, leaving a fox, a wolf, and a horse on the forest floor to their own activities. It wasn't too peculiar as owls were often seen stretching their wings around the grounds and attracted no attention from the staff below, setting up the chairs and stage for the graduation ceremony.

However a closer look might reveal that there really is something off about this owl. One, pitch black owls like this one don't really exist, and two, there was a squirrel perched on its back, holding on for dear life but loving the thrill of flight.

The owl made one more round around the castle and swooped down to a flat section of the stone roofing. The squirrel scurried off, disoriented a bit but quickly gained its bearings. In one fluid motion, both animals morphed into humans, one Kelley O'Hara and a Christen Press.

They groaned and cracked various joints in an effort to shake off their previous animal-ness, and settled in at the edge of the roof, feet dangling in the air. "Are they going to be okay down there?" Christen asked.

"Alex will make sure they don't die before the ceremony." Kelley reached over and grabbed her hand. "I can't believe our seven years are up already. I feel like we haven't gotten enough time for the things that matter."

"Me either. I know I've said this a thousand times over, but the last six months with you have been so great. I'm not ready to leave."

Kelley leaned her head on Christen's shoulder. "I don't think I am either. How am I supposed to wake up in the morning without my beautiful alarm clock?" she said.

"You'll manage."

"I won't." Kelley glanced up at Christen with teary eyes and a slightly quivering lip. Christen dipped her head and kissed her, wrapping her arm around her shoulders and leaving it there.

"I promise you can."

Kelley swallowed back the lump in her throat and squeezed the hand clasped in her own. "Do you remember the first time I told you I liked you?"

"Getting nostalgic on me, O'Hara?" Christen said playfully. She frowned. "No, I-I don't think I do."

"It was like, January in sixth-year. We were ragging on Tobs about that girl she liked back then and she asked me who I liked, and I said you because I thought your reaction might be funny—it was, by the way. And you just looked so taken off guard and uncomfortable that I kept doing it. Then a couple weeks later, I...I realized all the things I really do like about you and it stopped being a joke."

Christen smiled. "It all started because of a stupid joke?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess it did," Kelley laughed. "But I'm so happy it happened because this last year would not have been nearly as great without you."

"Me too. You know when I realized I liked you? Camping in the Arizona desert. We shared a tent, remember? In the middle of the night, I heard you get up and leave, and I followed you, and we had that heart-to-heart under that giant rock archway. I mean, we had super personal conversations before, but not like that one."

"I remember. I told you things that night that I never told anyone before."

"I told you things I never imagined would come out of my mouth." Christen sighed. "What am I going to do without my rock?" Her voice cracked up in her throat, and she wiped away tears before they could fall with the heel of her hand.

"No, no, no, please don't cry. Please, I'm going to start crying too then."

"No, Kell, you're going to New Jersey and I'm going to Sweden and we're gonna drift apart and then years are going to go by without talking and I'm going to lose you," Christen babbled. A thick stream was now trailing down her cheeks and soaking into her t-shirt.

"That's not going to happen, okay? It's not." Kelley put her hands on her face and gently guided her eyeline away from the almost-finished ceremony setup below to her own face. She gently wiped away some of the tears beneath Christen's eyes and pulled her closer for a hug.

"How do you know?" Christen choked out.

"Can I show you something?" Kelley took out her wand from her robes and pointed it out in front of her, muttering the Patronus charm.

A blue-ish white stream erupted from the tip of her wand, immediately taking form. An owl, a little smaller and more energetic than Christen's own, flew about through the air.

Christen gasped. She knew what it meant.

"Chris, I love you. I'm in love you, and that's not changing anytime soon. You can worry about us all you want, but I'm not going anywhere. You'll see me in a week in Cali when I go to visit. You'll see me every time you open your trunk because my face is plastered everywhere in there, and you'll see me at your first Quidditch game in Sweden. If you ever need me, I'll drop everything to be there, okay? I promise."

Christen sniffled and smiled, so touched that the person who was her life thought of her the same way, if not more. "Okay."

"Okay."

Down below, their year was beginning to congregate on the grass in their graduation robes. It was almost time for them to leave. Kelley wasn't too broken up about it. She knew it wasn't the end.


End file.
